Can I have another dollar?April 11th, 2006 @ 8:00 am
The King has this coworker. Let’s call him Pat. I’ve never met Pat, but I’ve heard a lot about him. A lot. The King just loves Pat. Pat is funny and crazy and does wild things. Pat also seems to know everyone.
For instance, Pat has a good friend who owns a strip club down in Portland. So Pat and his wife and other Seattle friends like to frequent this club in Portland. You know, to support their friend.
Pat was complaining yesterday to The King that his wife and the other ladies that go with them don’t know the rules of attending a strip club. (Look at me, I didn’t even know there were rules.) He said they always blow through their money too fast and it drives him crazy.
Apparently Pat’s wife will ask Pat for some one’s to give to the dancers. So Pat will give her ten singles. Which she immediately hands to the dancer. All ten singles.
Pat: You can’t give them all the money right at the start. You have to tempt them your way by giving them one dollar at a time.
Pat’s Wife: But she’s working so hard. She deserved it.
Pat: But that’s not how it works. Here’s ten more singles. Remember, one at a time.
Pat’s wife gives the dancer all ten dollars, again.
Pat: What are you doing?
Pat’s Wife: She’s just so cute. And look at what a good dancer she is. She deserves it.
Pat: That’s it. I’m cutting you off until you learn how this works.
Now I’m just curious what the other rules of attending a strip club are. Maybe something like, don’t trade your undies with any of the dancers.
But that one might actually go without saying.
Random
Frema
said,
April 11, 2006 at 9:38 am
Pat’s wife is shoving dollar bills down another woman’s panties and he’s complaining about her technique?
Just proof that nothing is EVER good enough for men.
Stephanie A.
said,
April 11, 2006 at 10:29 am
You know what, though- the one time I went to a strip club, I felt just like Pat’s wife, “She just did that?!?! for only a dollar?!?!?!” If you haven’t been to a strip club before it might surprise you at how much touching and private parts placement that really goes on. And then for only $1, well… no further comment.
goldmoon
said,
April 11, 2006 at 10:47 am
Hmmm, if my husband and I attended a strip club, the rules would be more like, “Angie’s husband must not touch, look at or even breathe in the strippers’ general direction.” Probably why he doesn’t bring me along.
TB
said,
April 11, 2006 at 10:51 am
Ha, that’s great! There actually are a few other strip club rules, like don’t sit by the stage if you don’t want to give the dancers any money and no touching the dancers unless they touch you.
Do not ask me how I know these things ;o)
Hilary
said,
April 11, 2006 at 11:01 am
I’m a stip club virgin and plan on staying that way so I had no idea there were “rules” either. I just don’t get the whole thing.
I personally like what Frema had to say. Too funny.
Props to you for actually being able to write about something other than what’s actually on your mind (baby). I sure can’t do it.
liberalbanana
said,
April 11, 2006 at 11:09 am
Good for Pat’s wife for even going. The thought of my boyfriend even going to Hooters makes me want to puke. (Ah the lifelong big boob envy. How I hate those that have ‘em, cuz I most certainly DO NOT.)
Nap Queen
said,
April 11, 2006 at 11:15 am
I’ve always heard that the men can’t touch the women, but the women can certainly touch the men…and touch they do. This isn’t a rule, but I’ve found, in my very limited experience, that women who work at all-nude places are very “real” meaning they have tummies and stretch marks and cellulite and small breasts, which is actually kind of refreshing.
AnnaBana
said,
April 11, 2006 at 11:18 am
LOL, Frema!
cursingmama
said,
April 11, 2006 at 11:35 am
These are not the rules I would imagine….of course I am apparently a giant ass prude (when did THAT happen) and have never been to a strip club and find it strangely not on my list of things to do before I die.
kerri
said,
April 11, 2006 at 11:43 am
Rule number 6: try to act natural. boobies is as boobies does.
Rule number 7: wash your hands. ; )
(I am just talking out of my arse right now, which everyone probably noticed.
)
Kristin
said,
April 11, 2006 at 11:49 am
After living in Vegas for 9 years up through my early 20’s, you learn about all of the “rules”. The one I found pretty funny (& one that I never broke) was that women are welcome with their men (strippers love the couples), but women aren’t welcome without them.
We had various crazy stripper neighbors & for some reason these weird things came up in conversation often.
Mrs. Ca
said,
April 11, 2006 at 1:30 pm
I like rule #7 above, and Frema’s right on the money.
Thankfully my husband does not frequent strip clubs, nor do I (I, like cursingmama am suddenly a prude and I don’t know where that came from because it so didn’t use to be that way) so I luckily have no need for the rules. However, in my one stripper experience I found that guys are not as rambunctious around strippers when there are non-stripper women present, so I would think one rule would be don’t bring your girlfriend/wife because that’s a party killer.
Chas
said,
April 11, 2006 at 6:30 pm
Call me old fashioned, which I am, but I hope I never know the rules of a strip club.
Lisa
said,
April 11, 2006 at 9:13 pm
That is SO funny. Pat needs to give her ONE dollar at a time, I guess.
I have heard that although the men can’t touch the women the strippers can touch and that the strippers get very into touching the women giving them money. It gets all of the guys riled up supposedly and they make more tips.
Went to a strip club years ago with a big group of girls from high school and respective hubbies after a wedding. We had to laugh. Some of the guys were REALLY uncomfortable and didn’t know WHERE to look — there were topless girls everywhere.
It is so not a sexy sort of place. Yes the girls are naked and they have great bodies but that’s all there is. I wouldn’t consider the experience to be “sexy” at all.
napagirl
said,
April 12, 2006 at 7:18 am
LMAO @ Frema.
I don’t mind going WITH Justin. The one time he tried to go without me, I told him that his belongings would be on the yard when he got home. He didn’t go.
naechstehaltestelle
said,
April 12, 2006 at 7:36 am
Hey, Isabel. Long time reader, first time commenter. I was just wondering if you’ve gone on leave yet, or if you’re still working. I’m still trying to decide if I wanna risk breaking water at work (yikes!)