King Friday - now with air travel etiquetteOctober 13th, 2006 @ 8:01 am
Welcome to the 5th edition of King Friday. If you missed it, here’s a link to last’s week episode where our hero was travling around Germany selling used Levi’s.
This week we find our hero recently returning from an overnight business trip in San Francisco. Let’s check in and see how his trip went.
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for the passengers of alaska flight 316, please take note. the following are a few things that will make life easier on us all.
seat 31a: i know it takes several thousand calories per meal to keep your body weight above 300 pounds. however, you should never, ever bring mcdonalds onto a plane. the grease that wafts from a bag of mcdonalds food is enough to give everyone from 1st class back a huge zit. eat in the terminal.
seat 29f: very simply put: never sh*t on a plane. ever. i can taste your poop now. its less than 2 hours to oakland. hold it.
seat 28f: you have a great ass. i mean, fantastic. i know this because you haven’t had it in your seat more than 4 minutes at a time. its nice and small, like your attention span. as good as you smell, i am still glad you aren’t sitting right next to me. sit still.
seat 31a again: shoes on buddy.
seat 27c: we are basically all sitting on each other’s laps here. if you are talking to the person next to you, you don’t need to yell. if you are talking to the captain, 27 rows in front of you, then, he/she is probably hearing you loud and clear. let’s use our inside voices.
to everyone on the plane: one word. hygiene. this isn’t a city bus, its a plane. let’s try to bring it back to how things were in the 70’s when flying was a little more of a privilege and people that flew wore their nice clothes, didn’t clap when the plane landed, and showered before they boarded. bump it up a notch. take a lesson from 28f and clean yourself up a little more than normal. brush your teeth or something. seriously, we are rocketing through the air in a tin can with nothing but recycled air. if i could crack a window, i would. but since we cant, let’s remember the power of soap.
until next week…
The King
28f
said,
October 13, 2006 at 4:21 pm
Thanks! I thought you noticed.
janet
said,
October 13, 2006 at 4:34 pm
this is why I make sure to get very little sleep the night before I fly anywhere. Then when I get on the plane I can pass out and avoid everything mentioned above. The only problem is that people who pick me up from the airport must think I am one haggard lady.
Erika
said,
October 13, 2006 at 5:53 pm
Unfortunately I have to agree too much with the King…nothing like 2 hours on a plane to make you twitch with frustration. http://volubility.blogspot.com/2006/01/i-am-slowly-making-my-way-through-past_03.html
HollowSquirrel
said,
October 13, 2006 at 6:23 pm
Yes and Yes and Yes.
Christar
said,
October 13, 2006 at 8:13 pm
I am such a strong advocate for personal hygiene! This is why I usually have such a big personal ‘bubble’. I also think that if people are going to be working closly with others’, they should also be aware of SMELLING and LOOKING good. I don’t want to be around someone who stinks like BO and their hair is greasy. I wanna gag… all over them.
Jen
said,
October 13, 2006 at 9:44 pm
I am one of those people who wears their pajamas on the plane and takes their shoes off. Sorry. I just can’t get comfortable.
But I shower. I promise. With soap and everything.
Chas
said,
October 13, 2006 at 9:58 pm
And these are some of the many reasons I hate to fly.
LaLa
said,
October 13, 2006 at 10:09 pm
The people that wear their pj’s on the plane really crack me up.
We travelled extensively when we were kids and my Mum would make us wear the same clothes we wore to Church.
katie
said,
October 13, 2006 at 11:08 pm
Holy crap - too funny!! Yeah, I’m totally looking forward to our cazillion hour flight from FL to Okinawa. Yikes. Pooping…it’s gonna happen…ugh.
alyndabear
said,
October 13, 2006 at 11:50 pm
Haha! The fidgety passengers drive me crazy. And you’re too right; a little soap goes a long way indeed..
Durga
said,
October 14, 2006 at 1:00 am
I noticed all of the above on my many plane trips within the US but not so much in Europe, Asia or Aus.
Does that offend very patriotic people?
Sorry.
Jenny
said,
October 14, 2006 at 2:04 am
Holy crap. I laughed so hard I snorted a little!
DeAnn
said,
October 14, 2006 at 5:32 am
There is NOTHING worse than smelly people on an airplane. I can only imagine how horrifyingly awful flying would be if the people from my bus all flew on a plane with me. I would DIE!
Emmakirsten
said,
October 14, 2006 at 5:50 pm
Thanks for a great laugh King. I needed that.
Jezer
said,
October 17, 2006 at 1:51 am
Right ON, man!
Lisa B
said,
October 17, 2006 at 3:39 am
This made me laugh out loud! That is so funny.And yes, you are right. Smelly people on planes is just such a nasty thing!
hola, isabel » The King would like to hear from you
said,
October 27, 2006 at 4:21 pm
[...] Today we bring you The King’s latest post. We missed him last Friday. (He was too sick to post? He doesn’t yet know that us bloggers sacrifice our bodies for blogging.) If you missed his last post, go here. [...]