King Friday – now living stink free
Posted by Isabel on February 2nd, 2007. Filed under: The King.It’s Friday. Which means I turn my blog over to my lovely husband, The King. He wasn’t sure what to write about today, so I gave him loads of ideas. What did he decide to write about? Let’s see….
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As an adult, I’ve only urinated in my pants a small handful of times. In fact, so few that I cant remember the last time. I think the last time was back in high school, when I wasn’t technically an adult, but that’s another story. But 9 month olds, they pee in their pants all the time. And worse. If you don’t have one of your own, you don’t know that a days worth of human waste, even if changed regularly, makes your skin kinda stink. No matter how cute you are, your mom will always say, “keep your stinky asshole off of my side of the bed.” Nobody likes stink. Can we say then, that everyone who is old enough to know better, should be in charge of managing their own stink? Is that a safe assumption? Like, if you are riding the bus, you should practice frequent ass wiping? Or, if you can walk upright in public, you should shower regularly? Or what about this? If you back up the toilet, and your urine and whatever gets all over the bathroom floor, you should be in charge of cleaning it up? I think that falls into the realm of common sense and common courtesy, dont you?
Living stink free,
k
February 2nd, 2007 at 6:48 pm
King, the first line to your post may be the most brilliant in the history of the universe. Also, nice restraint.
February 2nd, 2007 at 7:27 pm
Um, yes yes yes and yes.
Personally responsible for my own stink,
Hollow Squirrel
February 2nd, 2007 at 7:33 pm
3rd Grader: Hey look everybody, Billy peed his pants.
Billy Madison: Of course I peed my pants, everyone my age pees their pants. It’s the coolest.
3rd Grader: Really?
Billy Madison: YES. You ain’t cool, unless you pee your pants.
3rd Grader: Hey look, Ernie peed his pants too. Alright!
Old Farm Lady: If peeing in your pants is cool, consider me Miles Davis.
Billy Madison: OOH. That is the grossest thing I’ve ever heard in my life. Let’s Go.
This is the first thing I thought of when you started talking about peeing your pants.
February 2nd, 2007 at 8:08 pm
Um, me too, Hilary. I think I still have that movie on VHS. Can’t bring myself to give it away.
Couldn’t agree with you more, Mr. King.
February 2nd, 2007 at 8:49 pm
I must agree! It’s really not that hard to live stinky free!
February 2nd, 2007 at 9:59 pm
This just made my day.
February 2nd, 2007 at 10:50 pm
When we lived in Burlington, VT and I was managing a cafe, I was *thisclose* to starting a campaign: Free Shower Friday.
Nothing like stinky pseudo-hippies with dirt under their fingernails serving you your scone and latte.
My training of staff actually included the phrase, “Please, take a shower daily. Your friends and customers will thank you for it.”
February 3rd, 2007 at 1:11 am
Stink-free is the way to be.
February 3rd, 2007 at 2:12 am
I completely agree. There is no reason anyone should be stinky, unless you just worked out, and in which case, shower immediately.
February 3rd, 2007 at 5:26 am
Well that kills MY Friday night fun.
February 3rd, 2007 at 3:20 pm
I pledge to be stink-free!
February 3rd, 2007 at 10:14 pm
I’ve got something really gross. My hubby runs eight western wear stores and last week he was helping a woman around 40. She was sitting down, trying on a pair of boots, and when she got up, the bench was bloody!!!! She saw it and acted like it was no big deal to bleed all over. She didn’t even offer to clean it up!! My hubby was dry heaving BIG TIME!! Lucky for him, one of his co-workers cleaned up the mess for him. And the woman didn’t even buy anything!
February 4th, 2007 at 9:02 pm
Um, yeah I was going to write something all funny and stuff until I read Jill’s comments up there above mine. Now all I can say is ewwww. Just ewwwwww!
February 5th, 2007 at 8:25 pm
What a wonderful way to be — Footloose and stinky-free!
February 6th, 2007 at 1:20 am
Too funny! Always love your perspective King!
Living stink free too,
MK