Our best communicating
Posted by Isabel on June 1st, 2007. Filed under: The King.It all started over seven years ago when The King and I were first introduced. Being as we lived in different states the majority of our initial courting took place over the internet and on the phone. He had one of those new fangled cell phones and was able to call me on his way home from work in the evening and I was able to always get a hold of him during the day.
When we got married we shared that same red cell phone and took turns taking it with us to work. It took us a while before we both got our own cell phone where we could call each other for free. And so we did.
And since we both sit at a computer all day, we tend to e-mail back and forth like crazy. Not cute things like; I think you are hot more like; can you pick me up some deodorant on your way home? Now a days the e-mails are more like this; I think we should get light blue tile for Babboo’s bathroom and not white tile like I initially thought because the blue tile will go better with the blah, blah, fade out.
I might have mentioned that The King and I don’t see too much of each other these days. He’s busy building us a brand new house and I’m busy at home with Babboo. When he gets home at night he usually has a few minutes with Babboo before he goes to bed. And then we both flop onto the couch for a bit until we fall asleep.
Needless to say we don’t have a lot of quality time together.
Since this is the modern era of techy gadgets, we are able to talk and discuss things that need discussing and talking about. While at work The King will call me when he has a chance to tell me about something crazy. Maybe the lady who sits next to him is drinking at work again. Or that he looked into an apartment and saw something he didn’t really want to see. Or maybe he just had a funny thought about my aunt.
The King also calls me every morning after he drops Babboo off at school to tell me how their morning went and what is being served at the school for breakfast. I call The King every afternoon after I pick Babboo up to tell him how mine and Babboo’s days were. We usually discuss what Babboo is wearing since he’s usually a mess when I get him. We discuss our plans for the evening. The King tells me what projects he’s working on over at the new house. I tell him what Babboo and I are planning on seeing on our walk home and what I’m thinking about making for dinner.
Then The King calls me in the evening on his way home from working over at the house as a reminder to keep Babboo awake just a little longer so he can see him. I always do.
All of this makes me wonder what people like the Old West Pioneers did before e-mail and cell phones. I wonder how they communicated in their marriages. Maybe they only wrote letters. Or did the just talk when they could? But with 12 kids, a covered wagon and a farm to manage how did they find the time?
So tell me, are The King and I the only people out there who do their best communication not face to face?
June 1st, 2007 at 8:22 am
Oh dear, this is a painful spot. I met the Extremely Gorgeous and Brainy when we were both in one country, but he was bound to go away (over the Atlantic, that is darn far). Enough to say, my email is set to scream “I love you baby, m-m-m-m” when his emails arrive. Different things for different folks: I see colleagues who get calls four times a day, I hear others that some sort of contact every day is too often, too much to desire. I was so happy to read about you and King belonging to the former group. We indeed talk seldom. That would be, of course, my point of view. Before I ever got to actually visit him, and to get some peace of mind, I wasted mountains of energy trying to figure out if it is just too risky to go on. Yes we are just boyfriend/girlfriend thing, so I talked myself into assuming that in real time, live people who are physically around take priority over the long distance sweetie. Does not work well on my side, though. We email when we are stressed for something, and lately I felt guilty for sort of using him to help me cope with my work. Sorry for a long comment, this is what I wanted to say: I remember reading somewhere that only people who write old-fashioned paper letters increase their chance at getting through the long distance. An observation that was made in modern times.
June 1st, 2007 at 12:01 pm
Luke and I are in the “sharing a cell phone” phase of life right now, and we only turn it on when we’re traveling to visit family, so we don’t communicate that way, but we do take advantage of Gmail’s fabulous chat feature all the live-long day. We also exchange a lot of e-mail during the week about TV shows, vacation plans, etc. I can’t remember the last time I wrote a letter by hand.
June 1st, 2007 at 12:44 pm
me & my hubby do quite a bit of emailing and cell phoning too. and now that i can take pics on my cell phone and send them to his cell, he gets to see our daughter during the day doing her stuff, which i know he likes. funny you should post about this, i was just thinking the other day about how i resisted even getting a cell phone years ago and now i cant live without it.
so hows things going with the house?? getting close??
June 1st, 2007 at 12:56 pm
With a husband who is a real estate agent and is gone a lot of evenings and weekends, we really on email and cell phones ALOT. I normally email him stuff I want and he normally emails me stuff he needs me to do….
We also do the calling each other after he drops off the girls in the morning and I pick them up in the afternoon…
June 1st, 2007 at 1:35 pm
For Chris and I it really just depends on what all we have going on. When he’s working alot of overtime, and we don’t see each other as much, we text and talk on our cell phones. Chris works for our local utitilty company so, email is not an option. But, when (for a split second) our lives slow down a bit, we hang out on the porch and just talk. I love doing that.
June 1st, 2007 at 1:39 pm
Yep… same here except I refuse to fall into the email trap because my husband would LOVE if we only communicated by cell or email. I, would hate it.
Right now he is only capable of communication by cellphone and at most, a 12 minute conversation per day. If I let him start to email me I’d forget what his voice sounds like!
June 1st, 2007 at 2:14 pm
Kevin and I are this way as well. While I don’t get as much computer time as I’d like with the kiddos, we do IM when I sit down. We call each other quite a few times a day, and then he calls when he’s leaving and when he gets off the train. We talk cell to cell a lot.
I think it’s important with his hectic work schedule. Sometimes we only see each other for 1/2 hr a day. And when he works late, we always set the cordless phone on the table and call him on speakerphone while the kids eat dinner. That way they can connect with him on days they don’t get to see him.
June 1st, 2007 at 2:47 pm
I am reading a book about Abraham Lincoln right now and everyone
(A) seems to be separated from their spouse all the time
(B) writes long, long letters to their spouse EVERY NIGHT
It’s amazing!
AS and I have both been incredibly stressed out at work for, my goodness, ALL of 2007… we always crave more face-to-face contact, but by the time we manage it, we’re often too exhausted to make it quality time. So, the emails, phone calls and IMs throughout the day are really important!
June 1st, 2007 at 3:31 pm
Doing a long-distance relationship for a year (Salt Lake to San Francisco) I only got to see The Boy every two weeks, we talked on the phone for hours every night – but never really got into the email thing. I love to write (blog as evidence) and he is the master of the 2 line email. So, we’ve kept it to talking on the phone and a text here or there. And I actually feel like in some ways he knows me better from our conversations than if we had been dating in the same city for the last 12 monhts. Craziness.
June 1st, 2007 at 4:37 pm
This sounds like Mike and I. Mike works far from home and I work long days. We e-mail each other all day as if in a conversation about houses, Abbie, what to make for dinner etc..even what is going on at work or in teh entertainment world. We ven call each other a few times too. I call him as soon as I get Abbie and tell him about her day, how she napped and her mood. She jabbers to him on the phone. Mike then calls me when he gets on the road – around teh time we are getting home and talk some more about dinner or Abbie or something with the dogs. When he gets home we eat dinner quickly and he spends a little time with Abbie before bed. Then we sit down on the couch for a little relaxing and TV before bed.
June 1st, 2007 at 5:10 pm
My email conversations with Joel consist of things like “Did you take anything out for dinner?”, “Don’t forget I’m going to [place] after work, so can you feed the cats?”, “Smallville is new tonight!”, “Look at this cool thing I found on Amazon/Craiglist/Ebay”…
Joel’s really busy at work, and I’m not usually, so I feel bad pestering him with emails or phone calls. We’ve also had a few times where I misinterpreted the tone of his email about something important and got really upset… so we usually save all that stuff for in-person.
When he’s coaching AND working, we do a lot of our communicating via notes on the kitchen counter. Sad.
June 1st, 2007 at 6:27 pm
Brooks and I talk probably 4 or 5 times per day. I wiork in sales and he is a student/researcher/teacher, so we have super flexible phone and email usage. We will talk on our way home from work/school and throughout the day so by the time we get home, there is nothing new to talk about in our day, so a lot of time we have to find other stuff like the house or our pets to talk about. I guess we talk more apart than together.
June 1st, 2007 at 7:51 pm
Isabel – This is off topic, but I was just watching Maroon5 on Ellen – Has anyone ever told The King he resembles the lead singer?
June 1st, 2007 at 8:17 pm
My husband isn’t at a computer all day so he tends to just call me a lot. I’m sure it annoys the people that sit near me at work but I don’t care. Having a husband that wants to talk to you is a nice problem to have.
June 1st, 2007 at 8:20 pm
Shaun and I see each other every day. I usually see him for lunch, and I see him after my long school/work day. It’s hard for us to email or call each other because when I’m in class, there’s no way I can email or IM and they don’t allow cell phones. So the only time we do get to IM or email is when we’re both at work, or when I’m at home and he’s at work. But I love technology! It’s allowed us to do so many wonderful things!
Hope the house is coming along great!
June 2nd, 2007 at 12:57 am
Chris and I text and email ALL the time. We started off emailing and talking via le phone, too. I still think we’re better face-to-face, overall, but sometimes work and time just doesn’t allow for enough of it. We email probably ten-15 times a day, and I love it. No one makes me laugh via email like he does.
(Oh, and: hi!)
June 2nd, 2007 at 2:13 am
Last summer, when Kris was on summer vacation and I was back at work after my maternity leave ended, I would get emails and pictures from him all day.
I felt like I was hardly missing my brand new baby boy because I always knew what he was wearing, what kind of new noises he was making, how many poops he had and what the consistency of said poops were. And Kris always knew how many ounces I pumped and could plan out Henry’s meals.
These days, I feel like we’re both just so busy and worn out by our days that our phone time is often short and sweet.
But we had to up our cell phone plan to accommodate all of texting. We text really, really well together!
June 2nd, 2007 at 3:00 am
I email Chris nearly ever weekday, but after 14 years together have learned that talking to him on the phone is torture and I avoid it at all costs.
June 2nd, 2007 at 8:22 pm
Nick and I email sometimes throughout the day, but we generally get quite a bit of face time since we carpool to and from work. And also since we have no lives so we generally are on the same couch together all night. But yes, all hail email and cell phones — I’d still feel lost without them.
June 3rd, 2007 at 12:27 am
After meeting Mr. Squirrel and flirting with him for a couple of hours, we didn’t see each other again for several months. We emailed, then called each other, and then eventually we met up over a long weekend. We long distance dated for over a year, getting to know each other over the phone and in lengthy hilarious emails.
I think any communication is better than none. I love that you and the King talk throughout the day and tell each other how the days are going and how Babboo did on the way to school, etc. I love it. It’s part of your routine now, and it will change once you get in the house…and then a whole new pattern will emerge.
June 3rd, 2007 at 3:17 pm
My husband and I don’t talk much at all during the day while we are both at work. On the occasions that we do however it’s usually over chat, and maybe a phone call. I typically see him in the mornings before work, and at night after work, so maybe that’s the trade off.
June 4th, 2007 at 1:04 am
Esposo and I had the longest talk in months when he went away on a business trip last week with little internet access.
June 4th, 2007 at 4:43 am
I met my husband on a 32 multi-line chat message board back in 91, so that is all we know; communicating via the computer. He even proposed in an email! I accepted of course. Now all we seem to do is IM each other all day, everyday. We even talk about touchy subjects via IM because we know that it would be too heated face to face! I don’t think I could get along without my computer. Cell phone, maybe…especially when he calls me in the middle of trying on clothes at a store and wants to know if I need any macaroni and cheese! LOL
June 4th, 2007 at 12:04 pm
Gmail chat is key!!! I also wonder how they did it in the olden days. I mean, I see Edgar in the evenings and on weekends, but sometimes technology like the tv and computer keep us from communicating as much as we should. While cell phones and e-mail are great ways for us to communicate during the day, other “gadgets” keep us from spending quality time together even when we are in the same room.
June 4th, 2007 at 10:31 pm
We have our best conversations when we are just about to go to sleep — it’s the best part of the day, every single day.
But we would also be lost without our cell phones. We text message a lot when he’s in class, and we usually talk on the phone at least once a day. And I am always emailing him about things that make me laugh at work so whenever he gets home from a long day at school he will have something in his email to make him smile.
June 5th, 2007 at 3:01 am
We don’t have a personal cell phone (crazy I know) I have one for work, that we use on long trips, if needed, but that is hardly ever. I think it’s something about our generation. We have always chatted online with eachother. It was/is a good way to pass the time at work when there happens to be a little down time.
Greg and I also have face to face conversations after I get home from work. We make it a point to have dinner at the table every night so that we can all talk about each other’s days.
We are also just as likely to each be sitting at a computer in the house chatting instead of trying to yell over the kiddos.
April 16th, 2008 at 7:12 pm
[...] June It all started over seven years ago when The King and I were first introduced. Being as we lived in different states the majority of our initial courting took place over the internet and on the phone. [...]