“Book Snob Alert”, by our favorite book snob
Posted by Isabel on July 27th, 2007. Filed under: Guest Posts.Hi. I’m Jen from OperationPinkHerring, and I have a confession to make. I don’t dare admit this on my own blog because I am afraid that I would lose all my readers…. and possibly be threatened with bodily harm.
(No, I’m not going to blurt out Harry Potter spoilers).
I hate The DaVinci Code with the burning, fiery passion of a thousand yeast infections. Uh, not that I would know what a yeast infection feels like or anything.
Is anyone still reading? Or are you all on your way to my house to beat me to death with your hardcover, autographed editions of Dan Brown’s masterpiece? You should know that I have a high tech burglar alarm that is routinely set off my cats in the middle of the night. Oh, and I also have cats. Plural. And they bite. Just a warning.
Here’s another confession: I’ve never even read The DaVinci Code! And yet I still hate it.
Perhaps a little back story would help.
[Close your eyes and imagine those wavy backflash lines here.]
When I was a kid, I was a huge book nerd. HUGE. I used to read books in the cafeteria at lunch while I ate my peanut butter sandwich and ate my skittles. When I got my yearly bout of bronchitis during Book-It Week, (did you all have Book IT? I luuurved Book-It, because it allowed my to combine my two favorite things: reading and beating people at things), my classmates checked out a stack of books from the library and had one of the parents drop them off at my house so that my book tally wouldn’t be affected just because I was couldn’t eat, drink, breathe or come to school. They were afraid that without me, they would lose. When we went to the shore (in New Jersey, it’s called the shore, not the beach) every summer for vacation, I often went through two entire Sweet Valley Twins or Baby-sitter’s Club books per day.
And then when I got to about sixth grade, I just stopped reading. I’m not sure what happened. I just got busy with friends, and talking to my “boyfriend” on the phone for hours every night. When I got to high school, I was too swamped with schoolwork to read. And in college, I was too busy… uh, studying.
I felt guilty about not reading for pleasure anymore, and I envied the people who seemed to find time to read books and still keep up with their lives. But I also mocked them in my head, because they were so… snobby.
Two years ago, one of my New Year’s resolutions was to start reading for fun again. The first book I read was The House of the Spirits by Isabel Allende. And I fell back in love with reading. I thought it was going to be a struggle to keep up with my resolution, but now my problem is more that I am forking over too much of my paycheck to Barnes and Noble every month.
And Lord help me, I think I’ve become a book snob.
It all started with the fanfare surrounding the release of The DaVinci Code. When the book came out, I’d never heard of it. No surprise there. But I wanted to see what it was all about. I went to the library to pick up a copy, but all they had was Angels and Demons. On CD. Since I was about to drive up to New Jersey for Thanksgiving I checked it out.
Oh. My. God. It was absolutely, without a doubt, the most painful 94 hours of my life. Was the running time less than 94 hours? Because it felt like 4-EVA. By the time I got to my mom’s house, I was yelling at the CD player. Why did the chapters just end mid-paragraph? To add suspense? They’d end saying something like “And then, dashing/cool/sexy/brilliant Harvard professor man opened the door” in a very serious, foreboding tone. “What happened when he opened the door?” I’d wonder. Surely something exciting! Something dangerous!
And then when we’d come back to dashing Harvard professor man, it just turned out that he opened the door, walked through, and made himself a pot of coffee.
Angels and Demons was so bad that I couldn’t actually bring myself to read The DaVinci Code. But that doesn’t stop me from hating it, mostly because it was so over hyped. Later that month, when I was visiting The Last Supper in Milan and saw that they were actually selling The DaVinci Code in the gift shop I made a big speech to my friend about how Leonardo was probably rolling over in his grave over this sacrilege, only to have my friend’s mother emerge from that very same gift shop five minutes later clutching a copy, barely able to contain her excitement. That’s when I learned to keep my mouth shut about my hatred for all things Dan Brown.
Until now, when I’m admitting it to the entire internet. Please don’t kill me.
Here’s the thing: I have no right to be a book snob. I love books that are easy to read. I didn’t read a damn thing for over 10 years. Oh, and also, I am completely ignorant about current events, and I am addicted to television.
But I still don’t understand it. And I felt the same way about My Sister’s Keeper. The Nanny Diaries was even worse. Because they were lent to me by a dear friend, I’ve read two of Jennifer Weiner’s novels, and I couldn’t believe how awful they were.
So now you all know my dirty little secret. I am a closet book snob. There are just so many great books out there that it blows my mind that people waste their time reading chick lit.
Wait; just give me a moment to change out of this white shirt before you start throwing rotten tomatoes at me.
July 27th, 2007 at 6:08 am
I am a book snob too. I rather snootily “don’t care for reality tv.” But…I’ve read all the books you mentioned hating. The reason I read them was: I pretty much never watch television, so reading crap novels is like my version of reality tv. Sometimes you just need to zone out with some crap popular culture. I enjoyed The Da Vinci Code, knowing the entire time that it was dreadful.
(Btw, props on the guest post, OPH. Nice and provoking. Ha ha)
July 27th, 2007 at 8:33 am
Ha, great to hear from a fellow DaVinci Code attacker, especially on this blog. ‘Snobby’ advice – Umberto Eco is great replacement for anything Dan Brown.
July 27th, 2007 at 12:16 pm
I will join your hate club! Maybe I can be the treasurer or something?
July 27th, 2007 at 1:28 pm
Oh, I completely agree with you. I haven’t read it and have no desire to read it.
July 27th, 2007 at 1:53 pm
I loved the DaVinci Code, but I won’t throw tomatos at you and instead, I will agree with you on the Jennifer Weiner novels.
But what I really want to know is, what are the books you DO enjoy? I need recommendations so I quit reading crappy chic lit!
July 27th, 2007 at 1:57 pm
I read Angels & Demons and The DaVinci Code while I was taking Survey of Wester n Art in college. I found them rather interesting particularly the mention of certain paintings, and buildings that I’d studied in depth. Angels & Demons I didn’t like so much. Loved the DaVinci Code until it became popular. Once everyone started reading it, I started rolling my eyes at it, and when the movie came out.. GAH!Terrible.
But in the beginning, I loved it. I guess I suck. Whatever.
July 27th, 2007 at 1:58 pm
No tomatoes from me, but I do have to say I liked all the books you mentioned. I’m hoping you name some others you don’t like so I know what to get out of the library the next time I’m there!
In my defense, I do read “chick lit,” but only because I like reading no-effort silly stuff after a long day at work. And I tend to intersperse it with biographies, memoirs and other more serious reading.
Have you read “The Lovely Bones” by Alice Sebold? I’d be curious to see what you think about it. (I loved it so you’ll probably hate it).
July 27th, 2007 at 2:43 pm
I haven’t read it either and also have no desire to do so. I have always loved to read. But, I have 3 kids, a husband, a house, a job…it’s hard to find time to read. I really miss it. But, I am starting to make a larger effort to read again.
FunnyGal KAT: I loved that book. The perspective from which the story is told is so different.
July 27th, 2007 at 3:18 pm
Have read both Angels & Demons and DaVinci Code… and while I enjoyed The Code for it’s references to art and architecture (former arch major here, reporting for duty) I didn’t really get into the story… and I didn’t think it lived up to it’s later hype. Ah well, some books suck, some movies suck, some celebrities suck, and inevitably the masses will obsess over them anyway.
July 27th, 2007 at 3:18 pm
OK, I should say here that I only had 20 minutes to write this post due to the East/West time difference, so I didn’t have a chance to list the books I did love. Lovely Bones and The Time Traveler’s Wife are two of my favorites. Anything by Isabel Allende. I loved Secret Life of Bess, but the Mermaid Chair was ruined for me by the crappy Lifetime Movie (which I watched, OF COURSE, because I love crappy TV — OMG HYPOCRITE!!1) Memoirs of a Geisha and White Oleander were both awesome… and that’s all I can think of at the moment!
July 27th, 2007 at 3:31 pm
I know it won’t help at all, but Angels and Demons was a much worse book than the DaVinci Code. Not that the DaVinci Code was awesome (because really? It was not all that well-written), but it was better than A&D.
I really shouldn’t be over here, though, because I liked My Sister’s Keeper and the Jennifer Weiner books I’ve read. So, um…I’m going to go hide amongst my crappy junkfood books before someone bans me from the booknerd club.
July 27th, 2007 at 3:39 pm
I really don’t have time to be a book person so I have no idea what you are talking about. I mean, I’ve heard about it but never read it. I will say that I love your art work…it’s very Perez-ish.
July 27th, 2007 at 4:05 pm
I too am a book snob. I have read _Middlesex_ but years ago, before it was an Oprah book.
Living in Baltimore around the corner from Normal’s the Baltimore Book Thing makes me happy – I can get good used books cheap or free.
If you’re a fan of short stories, I’d recommend Julian Barnes (esp. The Lemon Table and Talking it Over and the sequel Love, etc.) or Sherman Alexie (esp. 10 Little Indians).
The best novel I’ve read recently was _Half of a Yellow Sun_ by Nigerian-American Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie. She also wrote Purple Hibiscus which is wonderful, if much shorter.
July 27th, 2007 at 4:40 pm
Ok. Since you were honest, I’ll be honest. I loved both A&D & the DV Code. I loved them for the same reason that I love Harry Potter and Nicholas Sparks. They are enjoyable and easy to read. I realize that Dan Brown writes with a formula so his plots are fairly easy to predict once you’ve read one of his books. HOWEVER…what’s not to like? His subjects are interesting, no? I can’t imagine listening to one of these books. You’ve got to realize that you must have had the cheesiest narrator of all time. When I picked up both of these books, I set them down when I was finished. I love a book that can keep my attention. It doesn’t have to be action packed to do that either; just an interesting read. Ok. I’m done ranting. I just don’t think that you should hate a book that you never gave a chance to. That’s like hating someone because you already overheard their twin say something dumb. Don’t hate a book that you’ve never read. Not ok.
July 27th, 2007 at 5:43 pm
Well, I’m not going to defend myself for loving chicklit because quite frankly, I see nothing wrong with it. Of course, I can also see where you’re coming from because I often find myself turning up my nose snootily and wondering why anyone would waste their time on a stupid Harlequin romance. Then of course there are all of the incredible classics and modern day, soon to become, classics, that I’ve read and love in a different way than I love my chicklit.
I guess it sort of how I manage to love both The Girls Next Door and History Channel programs. They just appeal to different parts of my brain that love different levels and types of entertainment.
July 27th, 2007 at 5:56 pm
Outing myself as an enthusiastic reader of even worse books…the formulaic, and heaving bodice filled Harlequin types. I love them because they are so removed from reality. But I refuse to pay full price so library sales are my friend.
Haven’t read DC or A&D, but did read Sister’s Keeper only because it was book club (and they love the heavy, depressing types of books).
July 27th, 2007 at 7:50 pm
I’ve never read The DaVinci or any other of those books. I do love to read and still do every night. I tried the Shopaholic book series but was totally disappointed. Not my thing. I like murder/suspense books.
July 27th, 2007 at 7:56 pm
i gave the da vinci code to my sil for christmas, but i had to modify it. see, a harvard professor of “symbology” would know not to call him da vinci, but rather leonardo. so i fixed it, with post-its. because i am nothing if not an artsnob. or art nerd. whatever.
July 27th, 2007 at 8:08 pm
I used to read so much when I was in Elementary school. I absoutely loved the Goosebumps and Babysitters Club books. Once I got to Middle School, I just stopped reading. I didn’t enjoy it like I used to.
That was all until about 4 years ago when I started reading the Harry Potter books and I fell in love with reading all over again. Yes, I know they’re popular, but that’s because they’re damn good! I heart Harry Potter so much! I’m just sad that the only book series that brought me love of reading again, has ended.
July 27th, 2007 at 10:06 pm
OMG I loved Book IT! When I was in elementary school there was some deal with pizza hut where when you filled up your Book IT button with stars for doing all your reading you got a free pizza hut personal pan pizza. It was truly great.
I’ve never read Angels and Demons or the DaVinci Code. I was a little interested when they first came out, but never got around to picking them up. And then The Hype started and I completely lost interest.
But I am a sucker for chick lit. And trashy romance novels are my guilty pleasure. I know — I KNOW — they’re awful. But I love them just the same. Maybe because they are so awful.
July 27th, 2007 at 10:32 pm
I thought that I was the only literate person on earth who hasn’t read The Da Vinci Code. I did love Sweet Valley High and The Babysitters Club- classics in my mind.
July 27th, 2007 at 10:44 pm
Sweet Valley High and Babysitters Club? OMG – LOVED THEM! It sure brings back memories of Book It too. The best part of that was the free personal pan pizza from Pizza Hut. Remember that? Da Vinci Code was ‘ok.’ I’d agree, ‘tho. If it wasn’t for a particular topic I don’t think many of these authors would be as big as they are. It’s luck and timing, I guess.
July 27th, 2007 at 10:44 pm
Sweet Valley High and Babysitters Club? OMG – LOVED THEM! It sure brings back memories of Book It too. The best part of that was the free personal pan pizza from Pizza Hut. Remember that? Da Vinci Code was ‘ok.’ I’d agree, ‘tho. If it wasn’t for a particular topic I don’t think many of these authors would be as big as they are. It’s luck and timing, I guess. Same goes for the popularity of this blog. ;-P
July 27th, 2007 at 10:45 pm
Oh…and if you’re looking for a read, I just started, “Eat Pray Love.” It’s really good. Take a gander and post about it.
Cheers!
July 27th, 2007 at 10:56 pm
I love Angels and Demons! Although I think listening to it for the first time on audio book is probably what turned you off it.
July 28th, 2007 at 1:49 am
I loved both of the books. Not because of the way they were written, but because I thought the story idea was so cool.
Most everyone else I know didn’t like them either.
July 28th, 2007 at 3:22 am
Oooh, I loved Book-It. Maybe I’ll try to find one of my old buttons to wear around for old time’s sake.
July 30th, 2007 at 1:13 pm
I am commenting twice on my own post. Who am I?
I must admit, I think that the audiobook format probably made the A&D experience much worse for me. But the last line — something about “I guess you’ve never been to bed with a yoga master” — made me throw up in my mouth a little.
And I’m sort of the person who hates people because I heard their twin say something stupid. which is why I have no problem with hating a book because its predecessor sucked. I also could not stand all the fabricated controversy surrounding DVCode.
And lastly — Art Nerd, you post-it noted over EVERY reference to DaVinci? That’s dedication!
July 31st, 2007 at 3:21 am
i got into the story of the davinci code, but i thought it was poorly written. i never even thought about picking up a&d.
oh, and was someone talking about middlesex? i read it a few years ago, and i just read it again when oprah announced it as a selection on her show…i loved it that much!