In which I admit to being afraid of menses
Posted by Isabel on August 3rd, 2007. Filed under: Back in the Day, I Rock.One of the first things I wrote on this here blog was my “100 Things” list. That was almost two years ago. I figured it was time to update it a little bit. And so that’s what I did yesterday. If you’re curious, you can read it. It not, I don’t judge.
For some reason my age at which I got my first period made the new list. If case you didn’t read, I was 12 when I first got my period. I think that’s the average age, but I was still the first of my friends to start.
I attended my first maturation program in the 5th grade. My mom was working that day so she arranged for my aunt to go with me. This was an aunt I didn’t know very well, so I was horrified that my mom asked her to be my escort (you had to have an adult with you to attend). They showed us a movie black and white movie that was made in the 60’s. The movie starred a teenage girl ala Mary Stone who talked about becoming a women and how to use a maxi-pad belt. The use of a maxi-pad belt shows you how outdated this movie was.
I will never forget the horror I felt when my aunt nudged me to show me her supply of pads and tampons that were in her purse. Dude, I was not comfortable with her level of sharing. Stuff like this made 10 year old Isabel very, very uncomfortable.
After that I sort of shut down and tried to hide my face, thus ensuring my aunt would share no more.
Every spring from then on out the boys and girls would be separated for one day. During this day we would watch another horribly outdated movie about our bodies and keeping them clean and the proper way to use a maxi-pad belt (I seriously hope these movies have been updated since I’m pretty sure the belts haven’t been used for 40 years). We would all snicker as the movie talked about taking a shower everyday and the correct use of deodorant.
I imagined the boys were receiving a similar movie that talked about a secret-boy-period. I anxiously awaited the day when I could ask a boy what they were being taught in their maturation classes. Of course I later found out that they only talked about taking showers in gym class and other non interesting things like that.
Although I had been expecting it since the 5th grade, I didn’t get my period until the night of my 12th sleepover birthday party. I woke up to discover I had become a woman overnight. It was just as lame as it sounds. My mom had left that morning to go off to some nursing conference for the weekend. There was no way I was going to talk to my dad about it. Or even my friends.
I sneaked into my mom’s bathroom, opened the cupboard under the sink and grabbed a pad. Unfortunately it was a panty liner and didn’t really help much. Apparently I didn’t learn much after all the maturation classes I attended.
I can only blame myself.
I stayed in my bedroom for the entire weekend until my mom came home. And then I asked her, politely, to come into my room to speak with me. I was very nervous, which really doesn’t make sense. I told her that I’d gotten my period and that her pads didn’t seem to work. She explained that I needed to use a bigger pad or just a freakin’ tampon (doh!) I begged to not tell my dad. I really begged her to not tell my brother.
I just felt like this was something that I didn’t want the whole world to know about. I’ve heard that some families have a party when their daughters get their period. I’ve even heard that in some cultures it means you are ready to get married. I just wanted life to go on as normal and not have to deal with my brother’s constant torment.
Was that so much to ask?
Throughout the rest of my early teenage years I lived in fear that my brother Biff would find out and torment me. He was the typical older brother and would say things like;
Biff: How many periods do you have at school a day?
Isabel: I have seven classes, just like you.
Biff: (snicker, snicker) I don’t have periods! I’m a boy. Loser.
Oh yes, he’s just that cool.
I stopped caring about all of this and just accepted the fact that all girls got a period. No big deal. I’ve never really figured out why I was so secretive and worried about mine. I’m not sure why I eventually relaxed about it, but I’m glad I did.
So tell me, was I the only one that was freaked out and secretive about this subject? And am I really prepared for the goggle searches that will now lead people to my blog?
————–
On a less-creepy note, did you notice my new favicon up there at the top?? It only took me about 6 months to figure it out, but I did. And it worked. And it’s pretty. And I love it so much.
Thanks to the (now defunct) LiberalBanana for her awesome tutorial and thanks to LoveisBlonde for her assistance.
August 3rd, 2007 at 5:49 pm
Wow, I so understand. I was never ever ever comfortable talking about it to anyone. I think I was in college before I could even mention it without blushing up to my hairline.
Also, I didn’t get my period until I was 15 which was great in some ways (I feel like I scored three extra years of freedom), but I was always a little nervous about getting it unexpectedly. So, good and bad to being so late.
August 3rd, 2007 at 5:59 pm
Like Janssen, I “bloomed” late – I was almost 15 when I started. My younger sister started years before and teased me about it.
Not sure why I’m going to share; I’ve never told anyone this, but the first time I used a tampon I didn’t know you had to take the applicator out. So I put it in, bent the bottom part so I could put on my panties, then left the whole thing in. Yeah, a tampon doesn’t work if you keep it in the applicator – it’s also not.comfortable.at.all.
Thanks. I’m done sharing. Resume your day.
August 3rd, 2007 at 6:32 pm
My mom was out of the friggin’ country when I got mine (at age 12) and it was so horrible. I was staying at someone else’s house. Ugh. I’m getting stressed thinking about it.
I’m just glad that time has passed.
August 3rd, 2007 at 6:42 pm
what’s a favicon?
Isabel: It’s that super cute and tiny personalized icon next to my website’s address. My favicon is just a smaller version of my blog header. Do you see it now?
August 3rd, 2007 at 6:59 pm
I know, I wish I could tell 13(?)-year-old Erika to just chill the eff out. I remember revealing to a friend that I didn’t want to come to her sleepover because “it” was here, and she revealed that she had hers too and didn’t it suck? Ah, female bonding. And I don’t even want to talk abou tampons and how long it actually took me to get comfortable using those.
Some people can’t see favicons, like me. But way to go!
August 3rd, 2007 at 7:04 pm
I read “Are you there God, it’s me, Margaret” and was horrified at the thought of pads with belts.
And, my mom was out of town too when I got my first period. I threw up, threw up and threw up and laid on the floor of my grandparents house certain I was dying. But, then my mom arrived home, announced that I was a woman!! And, I knew my life was over.
But, what I really really hated was my first bra. I think I was 11 or so when I got it. It was SO DAMN itchy!
August 3rd, 2007 at 7:29 pm
I was the 2nd of all my friends to start. One of my friends started super early in the 4th grade, so she was the only one that beat me. But I started at 11 and I remember the day it happened. I talked to my mom about it, and I also pleaded with my mom not to tell my dad. I barely talk to my dad, I didn’t want him knowing my personal business.
The worst part about starting my period is it took me the longest time to figure out how to use tampons. I was a junior in high school before I figured it out. I’m so glad I did, because I hated pads SO bad! Especially in High School.
August 3rd, 2007 at 7:44 pm
I was soooo excited to get my period! I was the last of my friends, pretty much, because I was young for my grade, but I was still only 11.
My mother had to tell me that I got my period. I’m not sure you want the details of that little adventure.
August 3rd, 2007 at 7:50 pm
I was twelve as well. I learned what a period was by reading a Sweet Valley Twins book and then asking my mom what it meant. I bawled. “How long will this happen?” I asked her. “Well, it depends, but probably about 40 years.” “FORTY YEARS!” I was traumatized. When I actually got it my mom was sick with the flu so she sent my aunt out for supplies. I was so embarassed. They both laugh about it now but I haven’t quite gotten past it. That same aunt bought me training bras for my twelfth birthday which I opened in front of everyone – including my grandpa. Then my mom made me have my picture taken with them. Yet another shining moment of my tween-hood.
August 3rd, 2007 at 7:51 pm
I didn’t get mine till about 15 either. I spent those several years after those classes in 5th grade in sheer worry that it would just show up unexpectedly. What a waste of time! I could have been enjoying myself, but NO.
My mom was at work and I called her and told her and she was all “wait till I get home if you want to try out a tampon so Dad doesn’t get worried you’re in the bathroom too long.” Later that night she brought some tampons and pads home and told me how her mom just handed her a giant pad when she got hers.
I’m so glad that’s over.
August 3rd, 2007 at 8:16 pm
I was EXACTLY like you. Terrifed of telling anyone. I remember when my friends started getting their’s and I lived in pure terror just waiting for mine to make a surprise visit on the day that I decided to wear white pants or something. I’m pretty sure I avoided all white pants for about 3 years… I was 15 when I started too and I used to think that was really, really late but apparently lots of people got their’s then. Who’da thunk it?
August 3rd, 2007 at 8:22 pm
When Cody and I were cleaning our our cabin a few years ago, we found a maxi-pad belt. I’d never even heard of them. I laughed so hard I might have peed.
I never went to maturation. I had to learn everything from my sister.
August 3rd, 2007 at 8:28 pm
Its so interesting to read this & the other comments. My friends & I were just talking about this recently. I dont know why we didnt talk about it w/each other, but we didnt. it was a big “secret” and we would (individually) try to guess who had it – (did they take their purse to the bathroom). I remember I “had mine” on our 8th grade trip to Kings Dominion. I was horrified b/c I didnt want anyone to know and thought it was the biggest deal on earth….
August 3rd, 2007 at 8:47 pm
i was super private about it, too. I HATED having to change a pad or tampon in a public restroom because the plastic wrapper was SO LOUD and obviously everyone else in the bathroom would know I was on my period. And the thought of other people knowing when i was on my period horrified me.
I eventually got over it to a certain extent. I’m still pretty private about the whole thing, but I’m pretty private about All Things Bathroom-Related.
August 3rd, 2007 at 9:34 pm
I was 12 when I first got my period too. I wasn’t embarrassed to tell my mom or anything, but I was embarrassed to talk with my friends about it. I think that is something that all girls go through and then by the time you get into high school you realize that everyone has a period and who cares!
August 3rd, 2007 at 9:42 pm
Dude, hook me up with a favicon!
Please?
Isabel: Dude, they are EASY to make (sort of). Just read LiberalBanana’s tutorial that I linked to. She totally tells you how to do it. But if you can’t figure it out…I can help you on Monday.
August 3rd, 2007 at 9:43 pm
Oh and I was 11 yrs old and in the 6th grade when I got mine. Not a happy camper.
August 4th, 2007 at 2:03 am
I called my Mom in when I first got my period. Her response?
“Is that from YOU?”
No kidding, Mom.
Then she took my 11-year-old self out for lunch and told me all about how boys were going to want to have sex with me.
Not awkward at all.
August 4th, 2007 at 2:28 am
yay, it worked! I’m pretty sure liberal banana (i miss that girl) can take 99.9998% of the credit there
August 4th, 2007 at 4:11 am
I was 12, too. Luckily, I had an older sister. But, not so luckily, my stepdad went to the store and bought.me.a.card. A freakin’ card! What is that?
August 4th, 2007 at 5:48 am
Ok. Having a big brother find out you’ve gotten your period sounds WAY worse than having a little brother figure that out.
You know what’s super cool about reading this post? That now I can imagine your facial expressions and you telling this story!
August 4th, 2007 at 2:57 pm
I was on vacation at my grandmother’s house and was spending my days with my 16 year old cousin (who I was madly in love with). I was mortified.
August 4th, 2007 at 3:13 pm
I was just as embarrassed as you to get my period. I was a bit of a tomboy, and had just had the drama of having to wear a bra when my period arrived.
I didn’t want to deal with a period too so I hid it from everyone. My mom didn’t find out until 6 months later when she was doing my laundry. Maybe I thought if I hid it, it would just go away.
August 4th, 2007 at 4:24 pm
I got mine early… I was 10. And it was the VERY day I got back from our science camp! Talk about pure luck.
I would spend hours in the bathroom, because I didn’t like the feeling of the blood/pad thing, and no one in my family used tampons. UGH! Awful. And I didn’t buy my own products until I was 16 and on my own… I was SO embarrassed that the cashiers would chuckle or tease me, lol.
August 4th, 2007 at 8:43 pm
oh, i remember the trauma so well. i started my period when i was thirteen…at the start of 8th grade. i felt like a late bloomer, but really i don’t know if that was actually the case or not. growing up with a quaker mother, who was very prim and secretive, i was TERRIFIED to tell her, so i sort of managed it on my own for the first two months or so, pilfering the necessary supplies from my older sister’s bathroom cabinet. i finally told my mom, and to this day i cannot decide which one of us was more uncomfortable in that situation. it felt like such a disservice to me as a daughter, to have a mother who was unable to even say the word ‘tampon’ out loud. i am about to give birth to a little girl, and already i have hopes and dreams of how our relationship will be different, so that when she is twelve or thirteen or whatever age might mark the emergence of her womanhood she will be comfortable coming to me without feeling the shame and fear that i experienced.
August 4th, 2007 at 10:25 pm
Have you seen the new feminine products from Always? The ones that say “Have a Happy Period”? Are you kidding me?
Found your blog from Lizarita … I look forward to keeping up with it.
August 4th, 2007 at 11:56 pm
I was the same way…I was so ashamed and embarassed. I didn’t go to a water park with my friends when I first got my period because I was still using pads and I couldn’t very well be discrete about THAT while wearing a bathing suit.
The first time I learned about where babies came from, my mom gave me a book called Love, Sex and Growing Up. I was reading it one night and my dad came in the room so I hid it under my sheets. My mom went and uncovered it so he could see what I was reading. I was HUMILIATED!!!!
If I could go back, I would tell the young Lindsey to just relax…I’d say “dude, it’s really no big deal.”
August 5th, 2007 at 1:47 am
During our ohsospecial let’s talk about getting your period class in sixth grade I sat there thinking to myself “This is nasty. I feel sick to my stomach.” Turns out what was making me sick to my stomach was my period.
I was mortified. I totally tried to hide it from my mom. Strange, because my mom is the world’s most open person when it comes to stuff like that…and my entire family is WAY to open about all types of bodily functions.
Eventually, I calmed down about the extreme privacy, but I still don’t like to open a tampon in a public restroom.
August 5th, 2007 at 2:05 pm
I got my period on the first day of school – 6th grade.
I remember calling my Mom into the bathroom, but that was it, we never talked about it.
I don’t remember it ever being a big deal, just something I had to live with as I was a ‘girl’, but I was pretty private about it. And I still am.
August 5th, 2007 at 10:45 pm
i started my period the summer before 7th grade at a walmart, while shopping with my grandparents.
my grandmother was ready and waiting for this happen to me on her watch.
and the belt and canoe boat pads were totally creepy.
August 6th, 2007 at 1:30 am
Dude, I am DYING to tell you the story of my…entry into womanhood, but it is so embarrassing I can’t bear to share it here. I’m emailing you.
August 6th, 2007 at 11:14 pm
I started at 12, normal I guess. My mother made it a point to keep track of me and my sisters periods on the calendar so she would be the first to know if we had gotten ourselves knocked up.
I never was embarrassed about it. I knew every girl was going to do it eventually. I do have a sister-in-law and her cousin that absolutely will not use a tampon because they don’t want to touch “down there”. I want to know how they get clean in the shower????
August 14th, 2007 at 4:11 pm
Our girls’ day movie at school showed how to give yourself a breast exam. all the boys were always trying to peek through the door to see the boobies. It was so embarrassing!
I didn’t get my period until I was 15, which was fine by me. When it finally arrived, I just thought I was sick and had a stomache ache and I wasn’t terribly ashamed when I finally figured it out and got my mom to buy me some maxi pads. The shame came later when, at dinner, my brother asked why I was feeling sick and my mom explained to him that “Today, your sister’s body became a woman”. UGH!!
August 15th, 2007 at 11:36 am
Man… reading this entry brought back some memories.
I hid the fact that I had my period for a YEAR. A year.
I have no idea why when both my Mum and Step-mum had been very open and informative about it. I would go to tell them and then just freeze in absolute terror.
I finally got found out… because I had an “accident” and hid my knickers and my Dad found them… which was even more mortifying than telling anyone.
I feel 12 just writing this.
October 16th, 2007 at 8:24 pm
[...] A very heartfelt thanks goes out to Isabel for writing a post awhile back that directed me to Liberal Banana’s easy-to-follow how-to guide. And an even bigger thanks goes out to that cute husband of mine for reminding me that I wanted a favicon of my own and then helping me sift through countless pages of google image search results in order to find the perfect representation of me and my blog. I, for one, think we chose rather well. [...]