When I got married, I never thought I’d be a Single Mom
Posted by Isabel on January 28th, 2008. Filed under: My Sweet Babboo, The King.Today is a very special day. It marks the start of a new way of life for us at The King household.
I am no longer a single mom.
Okay, so technically I wasn’t ever a single mom. But every other week, I sure felt like one.
For the past eight or so months The King has packed his bags, boarded a plane for exotic places like Minneapolis or Iowa and left me at home alone with my Sweet Babboo. Every other week. Him being away from home has brought on new stresses to our lives and to our marriage and has slowed down the construction of our new house. Dude, having to do everything all by yourself is hard. Very hard. And frankly, I didn’t like it one bit.
(That’s not true. I did like the eating pizza for dinner every night and the watch whatever you want on television aspects of it.)
Of course this was something I choose to not blog about. You know, for obvious safety reasons. But starting this week, The King will no longer be required to travel for his job.
Praise the Lord.
There will be no more complaining and bitching about how I hate having to get Babboo off to school every morning. And pick him up every afternoon. I won’t be able to feel sorry for myself as I climb into our new bed all alone. No more murmuring as I do another load of laundry and sit down to the dinner table alone. Basically, no more feeling sorry for myself.
Being a single mom is hard work. It also isn’t something I signed on for when I married The King. But then again, who does sign up for single parenting?
I will never forget the first week of Babboo’s life. I laid there, in my hospital bed, with a cut across my gut, just watching The King change diaper after diaper. I watched him rock our crying baby. I marveled at the love The King already had for our new little guy. And I just kept thinking “how do mom’s do all of this alone?!”
I woke up this morning knowing that this week will be different. It will be better. Because I have my family back.
So tell me, how do you deal with your significant other being gone? And for you single mom’s out there, how do you do it? Because really, you are me heroes!
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Did anyone, besides me, watch the CBS miniseries Comanche Moon? I finally finished it this weekend and loved it. I also blogged about it over at WeHeartTV.
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Rhett Miller, lead singer for my all-time-favorite-band the Old 97’s is being featured this week over at fivechapters. Fivechapters is a website that features a new weekly serialized story every week. Dude, not only can Rhett Miller sing, dance and make me happy, he can also write a pretty good short story. Make sure you check fivechapters everyday this week for more of Rhett’s story! You know I will.
January 28th, 2008 at 4:52 pm
I’ll be doing this very soon – except, no kids, so does that make it easier? I guess, but also lonlier. Just me and the dog.
January 28th, 2008 at 4:55 pm
I do not have many wishes/demands for/from my life, but one big wish is not to be a single Mom. Conversely, this is also the biggest worry when my SO is indeed around – twice a year. I’d love to have (lots of) kids. But nobody should be a single parent, or a kid of a single parent.
January 28th, 2008 at 5:07 pm
I just went home for the weekend with out my husband.
Some advice…don’t do Chuck E. Cheese by yourself with kids.
January 28th, 2008 at 5:08 pm
I get stressed out when my hubby goes away for just one night so I totally understand singing the praises of no travel. Single parents have saint status in my book.
January 28th, 2008 at 5:56 pm
The hubs works a lot of weird hours (nights, weekends, long stretches of not seeing much of each other) and over the last three years I’ve finally gotten comfortable being alone. I don’t necessarily enjoy it, but I manage. I also don’t have to sleep with a steak knife by the bed anymore. Progress.
I think the thing that’s helped us the most is the fact that we started out in a long distance relationship. We learned early on that communication was SO important. Now, when he works nights I know that I’m going to get a phone call as close to 9pm as possible. Having that to count on and look forward to definitely helps.
January 28th, 2008 at 7:03 pm
Wow… congratulations on getting your husband back. I think that would drive me crazy. Ok, ok, I KNOW it would drive me crazy.
January 28th, 2008 at 7:30 pm
Hooray for the King being home more! What a relief that is going to be!
When Tim goes away overnight (which is rare, fortunately), I try to take advantage of the time by curling up in front of my favorite chick flicks with a big bowl of mac ‘n cheese (not his favorite dinner). But I also sometimes have to turn every light in the house on and go around to every room opening the doors until they hit the wall to make sure nobody is lurking. Because, obviously, if you’re going to lurk in my house, you’re going to be hiding behind a door. I was most diligent about this right after our house was robbed in ‘05 (okay, let’s be honest. RIGHT after that incident, I went and stayed with my SIL when Tim was away), but I have gotten much better about it as time has passed.
I’m so happy for you for getting your family back!
January 28th, 2008 at 8:13 pm
I can’t believe you’ve been doing this all this time and we didn’t know (and pity you appropriately). I mean, I completely understand the safety thing, and also you obviously do now owe us every detail of your life, but I totally would have hugged you or something at least!
Anyway, glad it’s over. And frankly I don’t know how 2 working parents make time for babies, let alone single parents!
January 28th, 2008 at 8:34 pm
Traveling frequently is hard enough as it is, I can’t imagine doing it with a family (and house), and I can’t imagine being that family. I’m glad he’s home now!
January 28th, 2008 at 9:41 pm
Seriously, awesome. Because I’m just like you, I can not handle the single mom gig at all. And those women who do it alone are SO my heros.
Yey for a family of three every day!
January 29th, 2008 at 12:23 am
I don’t know how people do it alone either. It’s tough. My mom has been a single mom for most of my life, and dude… it was (and still is) hard on her. Having 2 people can be hard enough. Especially since there’s no handbook that comes along with kids. Every year is a new adventure.
I’m so glad for you that The King doesn’t have to leave anymore! Seriously, I don’t know how you do it. Him leaving out of town for work, and being gone working on the house… I commend you!
January 29th, 2008 at 2:00 am
I know what you mean! I think so often that I don’t know how single parents do it….but I guess they just do it!
January 29th, 2008 at 2:01 am
Oh Yeah, I’m glad you have your baby’s daddy back!
January 29th, 2008 at 4:08 am
Hurray for no more single-mom stints! And love the new layout! Very fancy.
xox
January 29th, 2008 at 5:01 am
my husband traveled for two years at times for two weeks at a time. i truly understand how hard it is.
i’m so glad you have your man back.
January 29th, 2008 at 5:47 am
My husband doesn’t have to travel for his job but he started a consulting business with his brothers this year and he is gone all the time.
I feel like I never see him and it sucks.
I try to meet him for lunch as often as I can and we stay up rather late, just so that we can have a small amount of time together.
I’m trying really hard to get him to go away with me this weekend. We’ll see.
January 29th, 2008 at 8:52 am
I know just how you feel Isabel! Being gone 3-4 days a week can be difficult on any marriage. Joel and I are lucky because we haven’t added any kids to the picture yet. I’m glad the king is staying home!
January 29th, 2008 at 1:59 pm
Of course you posted this while Jill is in ARIZONA for 12 days. I guess what I’m saying is I feel your pain. And I’m so glad for you that the King is home.
January 29th, 2008 at 2:24 pm
I am so glad you have your full-time partner back! I guess the upside is that you’ll be less likely to take him for granted, right?
January 29th, 2008 at 3:50 pm
So glad things will be back to normal (or, as normal gets for a family building their own house) for you guys. That must have been an awful lot of stress on you.
January 29th, 2008 at 4:26 pm
Well – the single Mom thing? Single Mom of three kids here…. they are now 17, 15 and 12 so obviously I’ve been doing it a long time. LOL. I don’t know – no big deal I guess. Daddy had to be on a business trip for 3 days before they would notice he was gone. LOL. We’re all happy and healthy though so it’s all good.
Anyway! Wanted to say that you should have hopped the plane WITH your husband a few times and came to have coffee with me since I live in one of those states listed.
January 29th, 2008 at 5:08 pm
Even when I was married I still felt like a single mom. Now I am. I miss having to pick up Kelli from cheerleading, pick up Maddy from daycare, and run Jessica some dinner at work, because I miss Kelli and Jessica. Even with just Maddy now, I’m still running amok.
Anyway, single moms or married moms or attached moms – we are still moms, regardless. Even if you have a husband/partner/SO, 99% of the time, if the kid pukes at 2am, the mom gets the tap on the forehead. And who do the football players wave at on TV? Have you ever seen a player say “Hi Dad?”
January 29th, 2008 at 5:56 pm
I am the one who travels in our family and it blows. Really. I hate everytime I have to put my stuff in a bag and leave my husband. I cry every damn time. Perhaps I am a pansy?!
January 29th, 2008 at 6:36 pm
Hooray! I’m glad you get to see The King every night now!
It took some time to overcome my fears of single mommyhood…once I realized this is the way it was going to be, things became easier. I guess I’ve just gotten used to it. I’ve had to scale back my ambitions of having home cooked meals every night…but then again, even traditional families don’t even do that!
January 29th, 2008 at 8:44 pm
I’ve done it before. I was a single mom before I met Chris. It was just me and Kaylie. And, it was ok. Of course, I had been a single mom for 3 years at that point, so Kaylie and I had it down. Then, when Alyssa was about 10 months old, Chris and I separated for 3 months and, again, I was a single mom, this time of 2. And the circumstances were sooooo different. Kaylie was in Kindergarten so there was homework and such. Plus, when Kaylie’s dad and I divorced, I was more than happy about it, but when Chris and I were separated, I was really really upset and that made things harder.
It is not something I would choose to do, but, believe me, it can be done. Moms can do anything. We do whatever it takes.
January 29th, 2008 at 10:07 pm
Thanks for entering our giveaway on MommyDoodles! Sorry the lip balm didn’t head your way.
I’ve been a divorced mom for 10 years and it surely is no picnic. Been alone so long that the idea of someone sleeping next to me or helping pick up my daughter or get groceries or rake the lawn is completely foreign to me. So, I guess, if it’s any consolation, I’m just as baffled as to how you live and parent in a marriage as you must be with how I do it alone.
And anyway, it’s not so bad. I have pizza for dinner as much as I want.
January 30th, 2008 at 6:07 am
We are typically a two parent household but occasionally my husband has had to travel – leaving me home alone with the kids. It’s tough work that’s for sure, but as much as I hated being alone, I kind of liked it too. I’m weird.
I’m glad you got your man back!
January 30th, 2008 at 4:51 pm
As much of a butt that my husband can be at times (especially when it comes to my blog),it is wonderful when he comes home from offshore (works in the petro industry). But I really do like the free time, eating out instead of cooking, hogging up the bed and the reprieve from the 20 calls a day–seriously my daughter and I counted them!I was a single mom by choice and then 13 yrs ago I married him and became a mom to 2 stepkids, upping my kid count to 4 under 7 yrs old.I am fortunate that when he is home he cooks, cleans and does things with the kids.It is during times of crisis that the solo thing is really hard. Like a few days ago when my youngest ended up in the hospital (again), but he got choppered back home to be with us. I am strong but he is my strength when mine waivers.It is great to have him home until the next offshore call.
January 30th, 2008 at 8:18 pm
When Joel travels, I actually love it. I love him, but I also love my alone time, alternating eating pizza and pop tarts for dinner, staying up all night watching TV, watching an entire Law and Order marathon. But I am sure I wouldn’t be saying that if we had kids. Dude, that’s gotta be rough. I’ve also never had to deal with him being gone for longer than a week, and he only travels a few times a year.
I watched the first part of CM, and I have the second two installments Tivoed!!
January 31st, 2008 at 12:56 am
I love! that picture. Here’s to (happy!) families, amen.
February 5th, 2008 at 6:33 am
I’m not a single mom but my husband and I work opposite shifts to limit the time our kids are in childcare. Because we like to be with them, but mostly it’s because we can’t really afford two kids in full time care right now. We see each other for about an hour in the morning, while I’m getting ready for work and about an hour or so in the evenings, but I’m half asleep by then. It’s HARD. Exhausting, really. I have a new respect for people who do it alone.