In which I host, what is rumored to be, the “best shower ever”

Posted by Isabel on February 22nd, 2008. Filed under: I Rock, They're just my friends.

You might not have heard, but I hosted a baby shower last night for my dear friend (the ones we went to Canada with last month). I was happy to do this, you know, until I heard the guest list was well over thirty people.

Thirty people?!

That is a lot of people. Dude, I don’t know ten people (outside of you lovelies on the interweb).

Thankfully I tricked anybody who said “let me know how I can help with the shower” into totally helping. I was ashamed for taking such blatant advantage of them, but dude, I needed the help.

Even though my bestest friend May has long since moved away deserted me to Nevada, I tricked her into designing the baby shower invitations. The Guest of Honor loves pirates, so we took hold of that theme and ran with it. I think they turned out pretty freakin’ awesome, don’t you?

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Rumor has it the Guest of Honor’s mom was not very impressed with the fact that her daughter’s baby shower invitation had a mermaid with pasties on it. Really? (Clearly I need to keep some of my own personal inventory to myself. Gulp.)

The baby shower went well. I feel good about how it turned out. Mostly I feel good about the fact that it’s over and no more is required of me at this time. Being a Party Planner is hard work, people. And the pay is crappy. The Guest of Honor received buckets of sweet little newborn outfits and baby related sundries.

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She squealed appropriately with the opening of each teeny tiny baby outfit.

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And thankfully, very thankfully, there was only one game. A game which included finding a damn safety pin in a bowl of rice. (Impossible, by the way!) Like the good sport that I am, I played along, even though I would have much rather been eating baby shower cake.

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Baby shower pirate cake, to be exact.

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I heard the Guest of Honor’s co workers proclaim that this was the best baby shower they’d ever been to. Hearing that sentiment made me feel pretty good about the whole thing.

It also made me question how many baby shower’s they’d been to.

Oh yeah, and the best part was when we were all cleaned up, ready to head home and someone noticed a raccoon through the window. Everyone was all, “oh, a raccoon, look how sweet and cute and precious!” and I was all “keep that damn beady-eyed son of a b*tch away from me. I don’t need no freakin’ rabies!”

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“Mass raccoon attack at baby shower. News at 11.”

No, thank you.

Please reassure me that I’m not the only one that thinks raccoons are neither “cute” nor “precious”. Because really, they are creepy and will kill a man, just to watch him die.

28 Responses to In which I host, what is rumored to be, the “best shower ever”

  1. cpa mom

    I completely concur on the raccoon sentiments. Completely. Scurvy dogs!

    Very cool baby shower theme. Arrr Matey!

  2. Audrey

    Raccoons are seriously creepy.

    That baby shower was seriously awesome. Remind me to move to seattle before having kids so you can organize my shower, too.

  3. Operation Pink Herring

    I am going to have to stand up for the entire raccoon species — raccoons are adorable, although they are annoyingly smart and persistent.

    A pirate themed baby shower is the coolest thing I’ve ever heard of. You can hardly blame Mrs. Coon for wanting to join such a fun party!

  4. Rhi

    Good Job! Also, I’m with you on the raccoons. We have some CREEPY ones here. One day I’ll tell you the story of Ricky Racoon who was IN MY APARTMENT. It was before I moved in, but STILL.

  5. Liza

    I think the pirate theme rocked!

    And raccoons? Do not rock. Creepy, icky, scary, trash-devouring, potentially-rabid animals with sharp claws are not cute.

  6. Angela

    You’re right, party planning IS hard work, and it sounds like you did a fantastic job of it!! I’m curious, what does finding a safety pin in a bowl of rice have to do with babies? Is this something that I will only be able to understand when I’m a mother?

  7. Laurel

    A pirate-themed baby shower?? Best idea ever!

  8. HollowSquirrel

    awesome-o 4000.

    At the baby shower I hosted last Sunday, we had one game, too, but it was a celebrity baby quiz. Totally fun, except for the one person who scored a zero. How do you NOT know Gwenyth has Apple or Brit’s kids names? Wha?

  9. super des

    The only part I like about baby showers are the tiny shoes, which turn me into one of those “omg it’s so cuuuuuute” chicks. But a pirate theme? Yes.

    And apparently you feel the same way about raccoons that I feel about squirrels. Good for us.
    :)

  10. Keri

    what a great theme. ANd adorable cake.

    I wouldve run screaming if I saw that raccoon – thought the same as you “RABID RACCOON ON THE LOOSE”

  11. Steph

    The fact that the invite had a mermaid with pasties on it makes me like you even more. Nice jarb! Now walk the plank.

  12. Pirate Wench

    I do have to say that it was a VERY fun time! Hah I knew my mom was crazy for thinking I was weird for wanting a pirate theme for the shower. Lucky for me you did such an awesome job. And the pirate cake was TASTY!

    And yes, considering that that raccoon is bigger than my dog, I wasn’t too thrilled with it either, although I apparently don’t have the exact hatred and loathing that you have for it. (though they are feral baby killers)

  13. Rachel

    Love the theme!! Looks like you did a great job!!! You can do my next one, mkay?

    And raccoons are totally creepy and will claw your eyes and out and then attack you! They also make really creepy noises. Like Jason.

  14. janet

    you are cracking me up today! And you can throw me a pastie-themed baby shower any day. Do I need to be pregnant?

  15. heidikins

    Absolutely fantastic!! I want a pastie-themed invite! And I want a pirate cake! And I will DEFINITELY skip the raccoon-with-Johnny-Cash-sensibilities… sick.

    xox

  16. Casey

    Psh! Who cares if her mom didn’t like the invite?? It only matters that the mom-to-be loved it and since it was totally adorable, I’m positive she did!

  17. amieable

    They are NOT cute! They are dirty, thieving rodents with opposable thumbs. Our neighbors growing up had an electric cat door (that only is supposed to open when a cat wearing an appropriate collar came near). The dirty, thieving rodents were actually CAUGHT red-handed reaching through the cat door and triggering the switch to disable it.

    Plus they make terrible noises and they are scary. I wouldn’t want them anywhere near my baby. Although maybe he saw the Pirate invitation and thought he was invited?

  18. Chas

    Throwing a baby shower is a ton of work and very expensive. It’s a good thing your friend appreciates it :) . I will always be indebted to the ones that threw my shower…there were sixty people there…it was like a wedding reception or something.

    I do think raccoons are cute, but I wouldn’t call them precious. My mom’s dog groomer has a pet raccoon who hangs out in her house all day with her cats and uses the litter box…it’s weird.

  19. Anth

    Good job on the fun baby shower. I hate planning parties, so I admire people who are willing to.

    My baby shower was very nice, and well attended, but my invites were nowhere near as cool. The ladies who threw it…I love them…but they did not take into account the mother-to-be’s preferences as wonderfully as you did. The invites were country crafty. Which I personally hate. But at least they honored my (admittedly adamant) request for NO GAMES. I go to a baby shower to eat and gab and coo over tiny clothing, k?

  20. Sara

    Raccoons — yes, creepy, not cute. I think hamsters are cute (although not as much as I once did) but not a raccoon. Aren’t raccoons actually members of the bear family? Okay, now I feel all oogy.
    Your baby shower invites were cute; too bad there were those rumors. Awesome cake, too. (I thought your Debbie Gibson shirt rocked too — definitely more than a soulless piece of plastic from Target, but I digress…)

  21. angela

    I love the cake! And yeah, I’m not a fan of raccoons either. Maybe if he was wearing a little eye patch or a bandana, I would have thought he was cute.

  22. Melain

    A raccoon is just a giant rat with a cuter outfit. Disgusting. But you were at a baby shower. People have to coo at even the ugliest of things.

  23. Durga

    How pregnant is she? She doesn’t even look it in the picture.
    The cake is yummy…the invites awesome!”
    Was it a “girls only event?

  24. Anne

    The racoon is hilarious!

    Great theme for the baby shower!

  25. Christar

    I threw my cousin her baby shower last year, and oh my heck. I hear ya! It can be frustrating and hard work. I think I blew a lot of it up bigger than it needed to be. But it turned out awesome and everyone loved it.

    Racoons are cute looking, but I’ve hear how vicious they are! I would never want to get close to one. I probably would have been scared too.

  26. May

    I am still giggling over Melain’s comment.

    And when I looked at the pics of the shower, I was like, “Oh, Sister M got a copy of that invite? Crap.” But I don’t live there any more, so the church ladies can judge from afar. And like I already told you, though pasties might be seen as inappropriate in some circles, nothing says “baby” more than boobs.

  27. velocibadgergirl

    OMG…DYING laughing over the raccoon / Johnny Cash thing.

    Also, you rock everlasting for designing a pirate-themed baby shower. I bow, I cheer, I applaud. :D

  28. SJ

    I absolutely LOVE the baby shower invites! What a great theme too! And yeah, raccoon’s are creepy. So glad it all worked out and that the guests had the best time ever. You rock Isabel!