In which I ask you if you attended my wedding(s)
Posted by Isabel on March 20th, 2008. Filed under: Back in the Day, Blog Addiction, Me, Random, They're just my family, They're just my friends.I’ve often patted myself on the virtual back for being able to maintain such a secret blog for the last two and a half years. Hey, look at me, I write a blog that nobody I know in real life reads. I’m a super-spy.
While discussing my anonymity with DaringYoungMom and EveGood on Tuesday night during intermission at “Mamma Mia!”, I came to the conclusion that the vultures are closing in on my super-secret blog. It really is just a matter of time before I get that dreaded phone call from my aunt telling me she found my blog. My fellow bloggers agreed that it is only a matter of time.
(This may be closer to the truth then I care to admit since DaringYoungMom actually knows my aunt in real life. And knows her well enough that my cousin babysits for DYM.)
Gulp!
Over these last two and half years of my virtual back pats, a few people have found the blog. There was the one couple from church that found it. I died a little and then traded favors in exchange for them never mentioning my blog and swearing them to guard my URL with the life of their unborn son. Then there was the two sisters from high school that found me. And then, another girl from high school found me. All of them have sworn to keep my blog a secret. I like these girls. I trust them. And I pretend they don’t read.
It makes things easier for me.
I wonder, that while I’m busy congratulating myself on my secret keeping skills, if my ex-husband’s new wife is reading my blog and laughing because, duh, she found it. Or that maybe my high school boyfriend found it and reads it on a daily basis. Heck, maybe my mom even reads. Or worse, my grandma.
How many of my lurking readers actually know my real name, went to high school or college with me, or attended my wedding(s)?!
I really have no good reason for wanting to keep this blog separate from my “real life”. I don’t write scathing things about people I love. I don’t post (too many) embarrassing pictures of myself, my husband, or my child. The stories I retell, from my past, are retold how I remember them. If these stories were to upset someone I know in real life, it’s only my memory of how things happened, and maybe not their memories. So really, I can’t imagine that it could/would upset them.
Last week I wrote a little post about The Seven Year Itch in a marriage. In this post I briefly talked about a couple I know in real life who are getting a divorce. I didn’t share anything too personal about this couple. Nothing about where they live, what they do for livings, what their names are, or what kind of a car they drive.
Yesterday I got an e-mail from one of my blog readers who lives nowhere near Seattle and nowhere near my hometown. In this e-mail she was all “were you talking about [insert most random last name you've ever heard] in your post about marriage and divorce?”
Holy shiz. I was talking about [insert most random last name you've ever heard] in that post. Totally.
And then double holy shiz, how did she figure this out?
“First off, how do you know the [insert most random last name you've ever heard] family? And how did you figure out I was talking about them?”
Come to find out this couple I know in real life are the ones that introduced this blog reader’s parents to each other many, many years ago while they were young college students. Apparently [insert most random last name you've ever heard] and this blog reader’s family are very close and personal family friends. We had a good laugh about the odds of us being connected in this way. The situation turned out to be quite funny and enjoyable to discuss.
This lovely reader figured all of this out by some silly little post I wrote in which I never mentioned (googable) names or (googable) locations. So while the world can seem to be small, it appears that the interweb really is small.
This just goes to prove that I’m not as hidden and secret as I like to think I am on the interweb. Having this happen tempts me to send out a broadcast e-mail with my URL to everyone in my “real life” contact book. Just to get it over with.
And yet, I won’t send it out. I’ll continue to think I’m hidden. To think nobody knows. I’ll continue to pat myself on the virtual back for pulling one over on those I know.
But if you do know me in real life, if you know my real name, if you attended my wedding(s), or are married to someone I was once married to, or if we share the same parents, or have the same last name, or went to the same schools, now is the time to delurk and admit that you read my blog.
Because today, and today only, I will forgive you for keeping it a secret from me.
I promise I won’t be mad. And I won’t freak out. And I won’t block your IP address.
(You can leave a comment, or e-mail me at holaisabel [at] gmail.com)
March 20th, 2008 at 5:11 pm
I know your real name. I know your home address. I know your deepest darkest secrets. And I know what you did last summer.
March 20th, 2008 at 5:16 pm
I could never keep an anonymous blog. I am not nearly thorough enough.
It is very weird knowing that anyone can find me, and loads of people read me. I have TONS of family that read me and pretend that they don’t and I go around acting like I have no idea that they are actually lurking on my site.
It makes it easier in a way, but I confess, I think I would rather have them just fess up.
So, I totally hope the lurkers of yours that know you will peep up.
March 20th, 2008 at 5:18 pm
I wish I had gone to high school with you…or maybe not since you grew up in such a small town.
March 20th, 2008 at 5:28 pm
I know your real name, but it’s no secret that I read your blog. And, sadly, I do not know you in real life, nor did I attend either of your weddings, which is too bad because your wedding with the King looked like lots of fun when you posted about it a few days ago.
March 20th, 2008 at 5:29 pm
I’m curious to know if anyone actually owned up to knowing the Real Isabel!
It freaks me out completely knowing that I’m never as hidden as I think I am. When I started blogging, I was so naive and didn’t GET why people went to such great ends to hide their true identities. Then I read some of the stuff that people wrote…about other people!
I admire how you’re honest and honest with yourself, yet you’re never mean or nasty or tell tales out of school.
March 20th, 2008 at 5:34 pm
I confess that I am actually married to your ex-husband. This whole engagement thing was just a sham to throw you off. Sorry for not telling you sooner!
March 20th, 2008 at 5:44 pm
I was not married to anyone you have ever been married to; and I don’t know your parents… sorry, very lame stories here.
Oddest “you read my blog?!?” moment was when my aunt (age 70-something) sent me an email telling me that she thought I was a good writer and was happy I’d found such a handsome beaux… My thoughts: Holy crap! She has the internet AND she knows how to use it!?!
xox
March 20th, 2008 at 5:51 pm
I don’t know you in real life even if we do live in the same town.
I’d like to block a few IP addresses. What I once wanted to be public, I now often would like to be private.
March 20th, 2008 at 5:55 pm
I dont know you in “real life’ but wish I did. I think (or maybe I hope) we’d be friends.
March 20th, 2008 at 5:57 pm
I wish I could be anonymous, but members of my family already read it (my brother and sister-in-law). My mom is probably a stone’s throw away from finding it and that makes me a little uncomfortable. There’s stuff I want to write about but can’t because I’m afraid she or someone else (like an ex-boyfriend) will find it and I’ll be extremely embarrassed. Sometimes I just want to get a brand-new blog and start over and not tell anyone I know in real life about it, but that would be too much work.
March 20th, 2008 at 6:29 pm
Sadly, I don’t know you in real life although we both live and work in Seattle. I do keep any eye out for you and Sweet Baboo and hope to one day be one of those people who accosts your on the street and says “I know you from your blog!” Hasn’t happened yet though.
March 20th, 2008 at 6:35 pm
My name is really Suede, and I’m really your ex-husband. No, wait. I’m really from (googable location) and attended both of your weddings. Or is it that I’m actually the almost-former-Mrs-[insert most random last name you’ve ever heard]?
Either way, this post was adorable.
March 20th, 2008 at 6:54 pm
I fear this very much myself!
But, no, I was not at your wedding(s). You guys look like a lot of fun, though! I would totally hang out with you if I was still living in the Puget Sound area!
March 20th, 2008 at 7:04 pm
I don’t know you, but I know how you feel. My mom, my mother-in-law, my sister, and my sister-in-law have all found my blog, and I’ve only had it since last summer. Ack! It makes me nervous about writing certain things.
March 20th, 2008 at 7:05 pm
Ok, ok, fine! We share the same father but I didn’t think you should find out this way. Gah.
I often wonder (well not anymore since it’s private) who’s reading my blog that knows me in real life. Especially since I saw the IP address from my aunt’s workplace show up in my stats!
March 20th, 2008 at 7:09 pm
Oh, and I even live in the same state you grew up in. I’m totally stalking you.
So did I tell you that my mom and I were :::This Close::: to driving up to Washington this week?! How cool would that have been?!
March 20th, 2008 at 7:22 pm
I don’t know you but I’d like to. I don’t live anywhere near Seattle, although if I visit someday I’d like to meet you for coffee.
My girlfriends know about my blog and eventually others will too. I just try not to post things that might come back and bite me in the butt.
March 20th, 2008 at 7:40 pm
I went to your wedding. I read your blog daily, and I am SO PROUD that I’ve never spilled the beans to anyone in Seattle. I did tell my sister about it. But that’s just because I’m so proud to have a friend as cool as you…
March 20th, 2008 at 7:48 pm
Since this is turning into the “who knows the most about Isabel” competition, I better throw my hat in and say:
I know your real name and what color of underwear you have on RIGHT NOW!!!
All that, and I wasn’t even invited to either of your weddings. Pshhhht!
March 20th, 2008 at 8:04 pm
I have nothing clever to say. But, I did not sell your personal information on eBay. So, I totally get a cookie.
March 20th, 2008 at 8:21 pm
I’m not sure if you know this, but I was sitting right next to you at the play on Wednesday night.
March 20th, 2008 at 8:47 pm
maybe it’s good I don’t have an anon blog after all — either way, you worry, right? also, lol-ing at OPH’s comment. That WOULD be a small world. Do you also just think that the LDS community is so tight knit that that’s part of it? In general, that’s a good thing, unless you have an anon blog of course…
And also, how do people find you? I would say you are ungoogable. Am I naive?
March 20th, 2008 at 9:04 pm
Point the first, I am DYING to see Mamma Mia, but I don’t think it’s going to happen this weekend… booo
So jealous!
Point the second, I’m going through a similar thing right now. Although my blog isn’t anonymous, there are quite a few people that I’ve never told about it, and I’ve been considering just going ahead and putting it out there for the world to see. That way at least I’m not constantly wondering when checking site meter, whether one of those people reading from my home town is someone I know or not. Good luck with your decision!!
March 20th, 2008 at 9:51 pm
I don’t know about other people…but I do know that Isabel isn’t ungoogleable. I found her by googling a phrase that I thought was unique to her from her Myspace account. (I’m not a stocker…a couple of years ago Isabel and I were having a conversation and she brought up that she was a blogger and that I would never be able to find her blog. I took that challenge to heart and found her a week later. So…all you who seek anonymity…beware the recycled, unique phrase.)
March 20th, 2008 at 10:34 pm
My blog is also anonymous…in a laughable sort of way. Why I started an “anonymous” blog and used my real name, I will never know. I just didn’t get it back then.
I’m sure you’ve realized this by now, but we don’t know each other in real life. Your real name is still a mystery.
March 21st, 2008 at 12:58 am
I didn’t know I knew you until you told me, and I wish I had went to your wedding with the king.
March 21st, 2008 at 1:06 am
I know you. Well, I don’t know, know you but I’ve met you and you know that I read you and I especially like that I know you, but not know you, but I know your name.
March 21st, 2008 at 2:02 am
I know someone who knows someone who’s mom knows someone’s brother who knows someone who’s girlfriend totally went to your wedding.
March 21st, 2008 at 4:03 am
Apparently no one was brave enough to admit in your comments that they have been lurking on your site. I’m not surprised. Lol
I got outed to my b-i-l when I made a comment using my Anth identity on a mutual friend’s blog. Oopsie. I swore him to secrecy, and I think he’s good for it. Then my husband pointed out that now would be a good time to delete some old posts in which I rudely complained about a family member. Oh, FINE. I’m trying to be the new, nicer Anth.
March 21st, 2008 at 12:30 pm
YOU know MY name and address since you sent me a really awful cd once… so basically? I figure even if I DID know anything about you I’d be keeping my mouth shut. LOL.
March 21st, 2008 at 2:48 pm
My whole family knows about my blog, and it’s caused some uncomfortable situations on my father’s side, from entries I wrote in the very beginning, when I thought my sixty-five-year-old grandma would never be savvy enough and my aunts would never be interested enough to read it. Who knew! So now I write with the mindset that anyone at anytime could find it and read it, just to keep me safe. Though I do wonder about a couple of work stories should the blog ever be found by my employer. They’re not “bad,” but I’m a Nervous Nelly and think about those things. Deleting my “Office Space” category would probably do the trick, but I don’t want the stories to get lost. Maybe a less obvious category title?
Also, ironically, the bigger deal I make of my blogs, the less my family and friends IRL read it. My sister used to read religiously but not anymore. Boo on all of them.
March 21st, 2008 at 2:54 pm
I am 99.9% sure we don’t know each other in real life.
My grandmother religiously reads and comments on my blog. While this is cute, and a nice way to keep in touch with her without me having to talk to her on the phone all the time (which can be painful) it does affect what I write!
March 21st, 2008 at 5:08 pm
I’m with Frema…. I’ve tried to get my family and friends to read my blog, but only a few of them do. I even emailed everyone when I got engaged and directed them to the blog to read how it happened… I don’t think many of them bothered.
Still, I do remain as anonymous as possible… mostly because I wouldn’t want my boss finding out how little gets done when I “work” from home!
March 21st, 2008 at 5:32 pm
I’m feeling pretty sad right now that I wasn’t invited to your wedding.
Some of my family and friends read the blog, but only ones I’ve told about it. No one has “found” me yet, but it’s been less than 6 months…
March 23rd, 2008 at 7:52 pm
i had to take a hiatus from posting on my on blog when a certian mother in law found the need to critique my abilities as a wife….VIA my blog.
delete. delete.
ohh. and I know isabel soo well, i even helped pick out the toilet for her (new) master bath.
so there, interweb. i heart isabel AND we’re cool like that. but…. i did meet her through this blog, so i suppose there’s something for you all to aspire to: toilet shopping.
March 23rd, 2008 at 7:53 pm
ps- you have to let us know! did anyone interesting delurk???
March 26th, 2008 at 1:38 am
Wow! That is crazy. I don’t know Isabel, I think you’re right, you have too many readers and too many coincidences…it’s only a matter of time!
March 26th, 2008 at 2:10 am
I don’t know you in real life, and I didn’t attend either of your weddings, but I go through the exact same thought process about my pseudo-secret Internet life. I don’t know why I’m so terrified of family, coworkers, exes, etc., finding it, but I am. And yet, for all I know, they already have. (I’m patting myself on my back just like you and assuming they haven’t.)
Several of my close friends do know about and read the blog, and none of them understand why *I* want the say in who from “real life” knows about it. I should forward all of them this post to say “See? It’s not just me. Lots of us feel this way.”
March 26th, 2008 at 3:02 am
I don’t know you in real life but wish I did! And while I do know your first name, that’s only because I scored an awesome homemade cd filled with songs that I’ve totally fallen in love with. I’ve always wished that I went with an anon blog and not shared it with anybody and everybody, but I’d be way too paranoid and afraid that someone would be lurking….
It’s a small world for sure but I’m 100% positive that I was NOT at your wedding.
April 16th, 2008 at 6:22 pm
[...] And for those of you that want to know if anyone I know in real life delurked to tell me they read my site…yeah well, nobody did. I’m not surprised, really. I mean, would you delurk if you had found someone’s blog you knew in real life? I probably wouldn’t. [...]