In which I lost seven pounds (and five polyps) in twenty four hours
Posted by Isabel on May 6th, 2009. Filed under: I Rock, Vacations.History has shown that I typically lose about seven pounds during my colonoscopy prep. Not only do I go without eating for 24 hours, but during that same time all fluid in my body is expelled.
So yeah, about seven pounds.
While I’ve figured out how much weight I can lose in a mere 24 hours, I have yet to figure out how to keep those seven pounds off. Pretty much as soon as I wake up from the surgery, I’m begging for food. Plus, let’s not forget that the day before I start my 24 hour fast I eat everything and anything I want. Because I know I’ll just be pooping it out the next day.
My doctor removed five polyps from my colon on Monday. Five is a pretty high number for the average person. But for me, it’s about average. Unfortunately five colon polyps do not equal seven pounds.
And thus, I’m back to my pre-colonoscopy weight today.
At the start of my procedure the doctor told me he hoped to not find any polyps and that he wouldn’t have to see me again for three years. As it stands he’ll be seeing me again in a year. Which is better then the six month plan I was on before.
(Just think what I would look like if I did keep the seven pounds of each time. Dude, I wouldn’t weigh anything.)
**this was where I was going to insert a picture of an actual colon polyp. But after searching online for one and almost throwing up, I decided to NOT share a picture.**
(You can thank me now.)
Quite a few people at work asked me where I was on Monday. I sort of think where I was at is my business, but they just kept asking me.
And so I told them.
And they got embarrassed.
Haa…that’s what you get for not minding your own business. (Says the girl that is posting TO THE INTERNET about her colon issues.)
Whatever.
So, guess what?
On Sunday some friends invited us to spend Thanksgiving with them in Puerto Rico. (You know, since it’s our tradition to leave the county for Thanksgiving.) We’ve never been to Puerto Rico, but apparently it’s cheap and sunny and fun and HELLO…BEACH. So yeah, I think we’re going to forgo using our frequent flier miles to go to Europe again this winter and instead head to Puerto Rico.
So tell me, anyone know anything about Puerto Rico? (You like how I started with talk of my colon and ended with vacation talk? I rule.)
May 6th, 2009 at 3:52 pm
Never been there but I recommend watching “West Side Story” for a VERY realistic take on how Puerto Ricans behave in New York.
May 6th, 2009 at 3:57 pm
That will just teach them not to ask where you are again. We’re going to Vegas this weekend, and when my coworkers ask why we’re going I say, “To elope.”
HA!
May 6th, 2009 at 4:16 pm
Shoot, after having that many first-hands experiences with polyps I reckon you’re owed a lovely trip to Puerto Rico. Good for you for responding to your nosy coworkers, they deserve every ounce of embarrassment they get!
May 6th, 2009 at 4:28 pm
Well, I’m Puerto Rican and jsut went there two years ago so I think I am an authority to say it is FABULOUS! The water was warm enough to bathe in, the food was delicious (find any hole in the wall to eat at as opposed to fancy or large restaurants) and I thoroughly enjoyed myself. Even if you just planted yourself on the beach the entire time, It’d be worth it. They have a lot of free sites to tour, too, etc. I am all in favor of it!!
May 6th, 2009 at 4:35 pm
Thank you for not sharing pics, I’m half-tempted to search for one myself, but maybe not until after lunch.
Dude, the closest I’ve been to PR is West Side Story…so I can’t wait to see how it goes!!
xox
May 6th, 2009 at 5:19 pm
Seriously, you do rule!
I’ve never been to Puerto Rico, but Shaun’s brother went for his mission (as I twittered to you) and if there’s any questions you want to know, I’d gladly ask him for you.
I’d love to go out of the country for Thanksgiving. I really need to get a passport.
May 6th, 2009 at 6:07 pm
We went to PR as our last kid-less vacation, and it was awesome. We’re not big clubbers, and I doubt you will be (with a kid) so here’s some suggestions for other things to do:
walk around the Old Town, on the fort and see the amazing pastel houses
climb El Yunque
go to the Arecibo Observatory
hang out on the beach on Vieques
do the bioluminescent bay kayak/swim (**this is an absolute must-do, it’s INCREDIBLE)
May 6th, 2009 at 6:18 pm
This whole colon business sure sounds like a bum…mer! Oh hahahahaha (okay sorry.) But really I can’t believe you actually told your coworders.
All I know about Puerto Rico is that the beaches are nice and my friend got pregnant there. I hope it’s fun!
May 6th, 2009 at 6:57 pm
I am sorry about the polyps. But at least you get to wait a year, right?
And, not that you will be surprised, but I have nothing, nada, zippo, zilch to add to anything you should do in Puerto Rico, having never been out of the country. But, as you said it had a beach, I would spend a lot of time there if I were you.
May 6th, 2009 at 11:43 pm
BEACH. So jealous. I’m working on your birthday present today. It’s “home-made with love” (as in I AM CHEAP). Maybe I’ll crochet you a bikini for Puerto Rico instead…
May 7th, 2009 at 3:45 pm
I went to Puerto Rico once. San Juan was kind of scary and dirty, other than the historic places, like the fort. There were lots of guys driving around on croth-rocket motorcycles who would drive in between the lanes of traffic, and there was A LOT of traffic. We stayed in Dorado, which was BEAUTIFUL. I’ve heard that Aricibo is worth going to, although we didn’t. Rum is SUPER cheap there, but mixers are expensive. (At Pizza Hut, when my dad complained that his rum & coke was weak, they brought him the bottle of rum and told him to pour in as much as he wanted!) I also have a friend that’s from there, and when she visits her family there, she’s said that it’s very common that most people don’t have air conditioning in their homes, even though it’s VERY hot and humid–so, be prepared for that. There’s some great snorkeling. Oh, and I think you can gamble at the casinos at the resorts there. Defintely a fun experience. I’d go back. Can I fit in your suitcase?
May 12th, 2009 at 5:37 pm
I went to PR and loved it. San Juan is nice, but the place I loved the most was a rainforest called “El Yunque.” There was such gorgeous vegetation that I was convinced it couldn’t be real and I was on the set of a movie.
(If you have any questions on PR, feel free to e-mail me!)
July 23rd, 2009 at 7:17 pm
[...] Our Thanksgiving trip to Puerto Rico may be off. The couple we were going with has recently used up their vacation fund to fund fertility treatments. (I’d rather they got their baby over us taking a vacation!) [...]