In which I love my Dad and it’s not even Father’s Day yet
Posted by Isabel on June 4th, 2009. Filed under: Back in the Day, They're just my family.My parents got married way back in the spring of 1972. They are still together, after 37 years of marriage. Was their marriage always easy? Were they both always happy in their marriage? No, it wasn’t easy. And no, they weren’t always happy. But they’ve stuck together and they’ve both worked really hard. And they are truly happy now. When I stayed with them a few weeks ago they were like newlyweds. It was sort of gross, actually. (And by “gross” I mean “super sweet”.)
My Dad always told us kids that the greatest gift he could give us was to love our Mother.
I think he’s right.
Did my Dad make mistakes? Sure he did. But he learned from those mistakes and became a better husband and father.
After reading my Grandma’s biography a few weeks ago I have a whole new respect for my father. My Dad isn’t a billionaire or a world traveler or the president of a corporation. My Dad has extensive degrees, a family he loves and who loves him, a house he’s worked hard to make nice, horses and animals to love and provide for, toys, and most of all, good memories with my family. My dad was raised without a refrigerator. Without electricity. He didn’t have running water in his house. He used an outhouse. Heck, there was a dirt floor in his house.
(I must remind you that my dad wasn’t born in 1842. My Dad isn’t even 60 years old! He should have had these things growing up. All nine of the kids in his family should have.)
By all account my Dad shouldn’t have succeeded in life. He wasn’t given the basics in life. And yet, he was taught, by his mom, what was right and wrong and what was acceptable. She named him a very prestigious name and hoped he would succeed.
And he did.
He has three bathrooms in his house now. And two kitchens. The only time he uses an outhouse is when we’re camping.
Nine years ago I moved from Utah to Seattle to marry The King. My Mom asked if there was anything from her house that I wanted to take to remind me of “home”. I only took a few small things.
One was a poem my mom’s had hanging on the kitchen wall my entire life. The other was this:
No not the shirt, but the hanger. A pack of these fancy hangers were given to my parents as a wedding gift 37 years ago. My siblings and I always fought over who got to use them in their closet. There are only a few of them left and they all look pretty shabby. When I moved out, I took two of them.
I’m thankful that 37 years ago my mom took a chance on a guy from West Virginia. And I’m thankful that The King hasn’t made me throw out the shabby hanger.
June 4th, 2009 at 4:14 pm
It sounds like you and I have a lot in common- my parents met as teenagers and got married in 1971. They still make out in the kitchen and can’t stand to be away from each other for more than a day or two at a time. My dad also came from a tough home life- his mom was married and divorced 4 times, which just wasn’t done back then. He grew up poor and still remembers wearing clothes that classmates handed down and getting charity baskets at Christmas. He didn’t see a functional family until he was in his late teens, when he went to live with neighbors, but he managed to get past that and be successful in his career and as a husband/dad. It’s humbling to be part of a family with such a great example.
Anyway, there’s no real point to this comment, I was just struck by some of the things you said and thought I’d share!
Love that you took the hangers- that’s so sweet. They’ll be a great way for you to share your parents’ love story with your kids.
June 4th, 2009 at 4:48 pm
But … how does wanting a poem and a hanger relate to your dad ? Have i entirely missed the point of your post ? *confused & sighing dramatically*
ISABEL RESPONDS: I hear ya! This post started as a story about the hanger and totally turned into my thoughts on the biography I just read about my grandma. I too admit it HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH EACH OTHER. Ahhh….the joys of being in charge of your own blog!
June 4th, 2009 at 5:06 pm
Would love to know what the poem says. Could you post it? And I actually made the connection between your dad and his difficult childhood and your desire for 2 items that remind you of your connection to your parents. But then again I was an English major and I spent 4 years making connections that probably didn’t really exist with literature no one would ever read voluntarily. BTW, it’s a lot more fun making those connections with your blog!
June 4th, 2009 at 6:47 pm
I also have some crocheted hangers from my grandmother that seem very special even though they are hideous!
June 4th, 2009 at 7:21 pm
Great, now I feel guilty about throwing out some of Mr. May’s ugly crocheted hangers. Lovely post. Maybe it’ll inspire me to muster up some feeling for Fathers Day this year!
June 5th, 2009 at 3:03 am
That is so sweet Isabelle!
June 5th, 2009 at 4:21 am
What a wonderful tribute to your father. He may not have a fancy job, but it sounds like what he does have is much, much better.
You should make sure you share these thoughts with him on Father’s Day! That would be the best gift ever.
June 5th, 2009 at 2:44 pm
This is nice. At least for me, I didn’t realize the sacrifices my dad made for us. Dad’s just pitch in and do what they are supposed to do. I think it’s great that you wrote this, and I think you should share it with him. He will love it!