In which my husband has no job and no tan lines
Posted by Isabel on July 28th, 2009. Filed under: City Living, The King, The New House.I spent the summer between graduating from high school and moving away to college in my parent’s backyard, working on my tan. I woke up every morning, put on my “tanning attire”, pulled my hair back, applied tanning lotion, grabbed the latest novel I was reading, and spent the rest of the day lying out in the Utah sun. I wasn’t going to be around long enough to find a summer job and most of my friends had either already moved away to college or left to serve their missions for our church.
Needless to say, I got very, very tan that summer (and I read quite a few books). No question in my mind that summer was the tannest I’ve ever been. I didn’t even get that tan last summer while vacationing at the beaches in Spain.
I reached my tanning pinnacle at the ripe young age of 18.
Last Saturday I noticed that The King’s face and arms were looking very tan. I realized just how tan he was when he hopped in the shower with me.
(You must remember that our Master Bathroom has more of a “shower room” then just a tub/shower combo. Because of this, we end up taking showers at the same time a lot.)
(Am I justifying why I took a shower with my own husband?)
(Note to the internet: I have seen The King naked.)
(And I liked it.)
Anyway, I noticed that The King was very, very tan. I was shocked at how tan he was, especially standing near my pale skin. I also noticed that he had no tan lines.
No.Tan.Lines.
“Hey, you don’t have any tan lines.”
“I know.”
“How in the heck did you get so tan without any lines?”
“After I got laid off I quickly noticed that all of our neighbors are at work during the day.”
“So?”
“So, I decided it was safe to lay out on our deck naked.”
“NAKED? ON OUR DECK? YOU’LL GET ARRESTED FOR THAT!”
“Nobody can see. I have it all figured out. I know exactly where to position myself so that you can’t see me from any angle.”
All I could do was shake my head at my recently unemployed husband.
Later that day he took me out to our deck to show me his set up for lying out and working on his tan. And you know what, he’s right, nobody could see him out there…naked.
The King has reached his tanning pinnacle at the ripe age of 37. And I love him even more for it.
July 28th, 2009 at 8:48 pm
This just proves how awesome the King really is.
July 28th, 2009 at 9:00 pm
Bwaaahaahaaaa!! This is the epitome of AwesomeSauce. I have read this twice and can’t stop laughing.
So, when are you trying out the naked-tanning spot? ;o)
xox
July 28th, 2009 at 9:01 pm
(…that last bit sounded creepy…it’s not like I’m trying to figure out your schedule so I can come spy on you or something, I’m not a Peeping Tomasita or anything, just curious if you will be joining the no-tan-lines party.)
xox
July 28th, 2009 at 10:18 pm
Thinking of my neighbors, seeing any of them nekkid would scar me for life. King may be different; but it sure would be awkward to spend the next 30+ years going “hey, neighbor” and not giggling to myself about that image. =)
Shower rooms are a great idea – yours looks a little bigger than the one we just put in. I think ours is 70″ long and 44″ wide. It is so nice to have two shower heads and plenty of space to, um, shower. I also watched your video of the toilet seat – our contractor put a similar thing in – we didn’t even ask. Now I have to be careful at other houses because I’m always slamming the toilet cover because I forget they don’t all close softly.
July 28th, 2009 at 11:18 pm
BWAH HAH! Got a good chuckle, thanks!
And seriously, you’ve seen your HUSBAND NAKED??? The horror, the horror!
July 29th, 2009 at 12:29 am
man, he’s really worked all the angles, hasn’t he?
July 29th, 2009 at 2:31 am
hahah this is too cute!
July 29th, 2009 at 12:39 pm
That is too funny!!
July 29th, 2009 at 1:34 pm
That is such an awesome story. The King is priceless!!
July 29th, 2009 at 3:54 pm
You guys are so meant to be. I love it!
July 29th, 2009 at 4:19 pm
Omg, everytime I read this blog I end up DYING. I can’t remember how or when I found this blog (It’s been a while!) but I am SO glad I did, Isabel you are too hilarious, quirky and cute, I love it!!! The Kings tanning plan totally cracks me up, you guys are awesome!
July 30th, 2009 at 4:44 pm
the King is such a renegade! It speaks to his personality that he “scoped” out all the angles first: always making sure the job is thorough.
August 6th, 2009 at 2:00 am
I love that The King is so risque!
August 19th, 2009 at 7:57 pm
this story is a-MAZ-ing:) so funny.