In which I almost fell off Mt. Rainier and died
Posted by Isabel on August 26th, 2009. Filed under: Back in the Day, I Rock, They're just my family, They're just my friends, Vacations.Every winter, when I was younger, my family would put on our snowsuits and boots, pack up our 3-wheelers and had up to Salt Lake City to this one specific mountain to go ridin’ as a family. And every night before we headed out I laid awake in my bed and worried about the ride. Now, I’d ridden 3-wheelers since I was a toddler. I was not afraid of riding.
I was afraid of the mountain.
Being as it was the dead of winter, the roads were closed to cars. The roads were covered in snow and very scary. Plus, there was no side protection on the roads. Meaning that if you slid off the road YOU WOULD FALL DOWN A SHEER CLIFF.
Dear Lord, I was so afraid of slipping and falling a gazillion feet to my death on top of a 3-wheeler.
When we’d finally get to the mountain and begin our ride, I would be fine. I loved being outside and riding with my family. But the second we got near the part of the road WITH SHEER CLIFFS, I would get nervous and even start to shake and cry. A few times the roads were bad enough that my dad would ride over the bad part then walk back down and ride my 3-wheeler for me. But this wasn’t because he knew I was terrified of the SHEER CLIFFS, it was just because he was worried about me driving on the road.
It wasn’t until a few years ago that I fessed up and told my mom how afraid I was of those rides. I told her about the lack of sleep, and the nightmares and the crying and shaking. She had no idea I was that afraid of falling off the cliffs. My mom told me; 20 years too late, that if they would have known how afraid I was they wouldn’t have let me ride by myself.
In the 20 years since I’ve gone with my family on these winter 3-wheeling rides with my family I’ve really never been around any cliffs. I haven’t felt mentally well enough to play in the out of doors. So yeah, no hiking for me. While means I haven’t been around any cliffs. No thoughts of cliffs. No nightmares about cliffs. No sleepless nights. I had pretty much forgotten my intense childhood fear of cliffs.
That is until last weekend while hiking at Mt. Rainier with some friends.
OH MY GOODNESS, I AM AFRAID OF SHEER CLIFFS.
Now that I’m older (but not wiser), not only am I afraid that I’ll fall of the cliffs, oh no. Now I have a kid. Which means I AM SO AFRIAD THAT MY KID WILL FALL OFF THE SHEER CLIFFS.
During our 4 mile hike, anytime we’d pass through a section with a cliff I’d stand as far away as I could and I would make The King carry Babboo. Unfortunately The King was putting him on his shoulders….which, in all honesty, WAS WORSE.
I was instantly reminded of the 3-wheeling trips as a kid. They were something I hadn’t thought about in years, but as soon as I was near a cliff, I was shaky and nervous and close to tears all over again. One of my friends mentioned that I must be afraid of heights. I hadn’t ever thought I was afraid of heights before. I gave it some thought and realized I’m not afraid of heights. I’m only afraid of SHEER CLIFFS. If there was a drop in the trail that was gradual, I was totally fine. It was only when there was NOTHING OVER THE EDGE OF THE CLIFF that I began to sweat.
During our hike at Mt. Rainier I tried to sort of act cool about the fear. Okay, I wasn’t very cool about it at all. I’m pretty sure all of our friends think I’m not some sort of freaky mom who won’t let her kid out of her sight. But I’m not a freaky mom usually. I only get freaky around sheer cliffs.
Thankfully we got to the top without anybody falling to their death. And even better, all 17 of us got back down to the bottom safely.
So tell me, if this fear of sheer cliffs a little extreme? I sort of feel like it is.
August 26th, 2009 at 7:12 pm
I don’t think my fear of cliffs is quite as intense as yours, but I do have the tendency to get nervous while driving up canyons because of the drop offs that our car could go flying off at any moment. I’m always imagining us going over the edge and suffering for days before we die or get rescued. I still enjoy the mountains, though…. the beautiful SCARY mountains…
August 26th, 2009 at 7:18 pm
You are so not alone. I am not afraid of heights, but I can barely handle going around curvy roads (with drop offs) and cliffs. Our summer vacation was full of them this year and my husband laughed about it. Kind of thinking I was just goofing around. Then he realized that I serious and completely (irrationally) terrified. Its a great thing we don’t live somewhere with a bunch of cliff edges or curved overpasses.
August 26th, 2009 at 7:19 pm
Um….since a sheer cliff looks no different from the dirt you’re walking on, HOLY COW ISABEL! YOU’RE NOT CRAZY FOR BEING AFRAID OF THESE THINGS!!!!! The photos are freaking me out!
I just hate mountains, period. They were semi-ok when I was dating that cute guy and we went tearing across the Blue Ridge Parkway in his super cute convertible. Then I went riding thru the mountains on a motorcycle and grew SEVEN arms out of my butt because I was not letting go of that seat!
If I have to travel, I take the longer Southern route just to avoid driving in the mountains.
August 26th, 2009 at 10:44 pm
I actually really like the sheer cliffs, they make me happy.
No, I’m not suicidal, just like heights. ;o)
xox
August 26th, 2009 at 10:45 pm
Especially mountain heights. Shrug.
xox
August 27th, 2009 at 1:29 am
Dude, I am right there with you. Except I take it a step further and am also scared of elevators (I still take them, I like to think I’m living dangerously.) But it’s worse when I can see exactly how far I will fall, and how much it would suck to die. I mean, we all gots to die, but hopefully not cause we fall off a SHEER CLIFF.
August 27th, 2009 at 2:52 am
You’re not alone in this fear at all. I have no problem with heights, but I don’t like cliffs, and I DEFINITELY don’t like driving in bad weather. My car slides everywhere on the slightest snow and sometimes rain. So in inclement weather, I freak about driving. When we were headed to Forks, there were patches of snow and I freaked. I held together pretty well until we got to our hotel, but once we were inside my emotions caught up with me and I bawled. It’s seriously the weirdest fear, but I HATE driving in or around snow/rain. I always go sooo slow in bad weather.
August 27th, 2009 at 3:59 am
I’m okay when I’m on the cliff, it’s later, when I’m home and I’m thinking about the 40,000 foot drop off of the mountain that I get tingles in my stomach. Thinking about how far it would be to fall. So, yeah, I get it! Just delayed reaction.
August 28th, 2009 at 10:51 am
Your fear might be a tiny bit extreme, but I wouldn’t worry too much about it–it’s not like you encounter sheer cliffs in your everyday life, so it’s definitely not a debilitating phobia. Just stay away from cliffs. Easy enough, no?
Actually, the part of the entire post that jumped out at me was this:
“I haven’t felt mentally well enough to play in the out of doors.” My thoughts on this have absolutely nothing to do with cliffs, but I know that I feel way better mentally (i.e the depression/anxiety department) when I spend time exercising outdoors. Just a quick jog or brisk walk outside does wonders for my general mental health. I don’t know what my point is here, but I think I noticed that because I’ve been jogging/running stupid long distances as a way to cope with some big stressors and to keep the anxiety monsters at bay. I’ll risk a physical injury if it means keeping depression and anxiety manageable. How healthy is that? Ha.
And now this comment has become a study of my own illness. Sorry.
August 30th, 2009 at 3:56 pm
I actually love the mountains so sheer cliffs mean nothing to me at all!