hola, isabel

I have this friend who has had fertility problems right from the start. (And by “friend”, I really mean a friend of mine and NOT ME.) Kasey and her husband did some low impact fertility stuff and were able to conceive and have a little boy over five years ago. Sure, Kasey had to take some pills, or something, but she became pregnant easily(ish).

I don’t know exactly when they started, but Kasey and her husband started trying for another baby. (Oh how I hate the word “trying”. Why don’t we just say “they are having unprotected sex!!”? Yahoooo!) Anyway, they tried the previous low impact method they had used before to no avail. They tried it a couple of times and still no baby.

Kasey decided to take things up a notch and they begin the regiment of a higher impact method of fertility treatments. Naturally this cost more money and took more time and effort. But Kasey was determined to have another kid. They had to make some adjustments in their lives to accommodate all of this darn fertility treatments. They even had to cancel the trip we were all going to take to Puerto Rico last Thanksgiving so they could use their vacation money for treatments.

At this point, I had no idea of all the things Kasey (and family) was going through. While standing in line for an ice cream cone last summer she opened up to me and told me all of her fertility woes from the start to where they were at right then. I countered and told her my own personal fertility woes. I explained that I knew our issues were totally different, but still sort of similar. I can get pregnant at the drop of a hat, but can’t seem to keep a baby while Kasey can’t get pregnant, but has no problem carrying a baby to term. (Okay, not similar. But we both have feelings of loathing those around us who keep getting pregnant and having babies without any issues!) They were just getting ready to start yet another round of treatments and Kasey told me she was nervous and excited.

Every few weeks I waited to get a phone call or e-mail from Kasey telling me she.was.finally.pregnant. Heck, I would have even taken a text. But, I never got any positive news from her.

We’ve traveled with Kasey and her family quite a bit since last summer, which means The King and I are a little too familiar with Kasey’s cycles and what days they need to have do it on and when she needs to get shots. We’ve even had to take a break in the middle of the day so that they can go back to their hotel room and get it on.

It’s cool. We’re cool. We all just sort of wink and smile and laugh about all of that. Being super familiar with all of this means that I also know at what day Kasey would either get a positive pregnancy test or start her period. As always, I wait for some sort of announcement from her.

Eventually she’ll just start talking about the next round of treatments and I know she isn’t pregnant. Again.

Here’s the thing; I’m not really sure where the lines are on this. Being as Kasey has been so open with us The King and I are very close to this subject. And yet, I’m not sure if it’s okay for me to come right out and say to Kasey, “So, you pregnant this month?” I’m just not sure what the comfort level is for either her or me. I’m not usually comfortable asking someone if they are pregnant or trying to get pregnant. But dude, I know the ins and outs of Kasey’s cycles! I feel like because she’s been so open with me about it that on some level its okay for me to get personal with her and prod her for more information. Yet, it still feels wrong, so I hold back.

This last month Kasey and her husband pulled out the big guns and went for an even more involved fertility treatment. They laid down the money and decided they would give it this one last chance. This was it…if it worked they’d have a baby. If it didn’t work they’d accept being a One Child Family and move on with their lives.

We pray for them in every one of our family prayers.

Kasey and her family flew to a family wedding this last week. Before she left Kasey told me what day she had to go in for her first blood test. (She was going to find a local lab near where they were staying. She had it all figured out.) She told me that a few days after that she’d go back to the lab for the second test. At that point they’d be able to tell if the treatment worked and if she was knocked up.

The second blood test was scheduled to take place a few days ago. Late last night Kasey and her family flew back into town.

I’ve been frantically refreshing my e-mail all morning just waiting to see an e-mail from Kasey.

On one hand I want to be excited with Kasey if she’s pregnant. On the other hand I don’t want to make her talk about it if it didn’t work. I keep over thinking it and being all “maybe she’s pregnant and just trying to keep me in suspense by not telling me” or “maybe it didn’t work and she hates to have to call and tell me.”

Today I’m not going to call her and ask her if she’s pregnant. I’m not going to e-mailing her. I’m not even going to text her.

I’m just going to wait.

Dude, I hope she calls me soon.

And I hope she’s pregnant!