hola, isabel

I get really homesick.

Really homesick.

A few days before I leave I start to get sad and will cry at the though of not being home.

I miss The King.  I miss my Sweet Babboo.  But mostly, I just being at my own house in my own bed.

I flew out of Seattle yesterday.  I was missing my boys so much that I was crying before I even got into the taxi.  By the last leg of the flight into Oklahoma City I was so sick to my stomach that I was pretty sure I was going to puke on the nice guy sitting next to me.  (Thankfully I did NOT vomit.  It took all of my will power to keep the vomit inside my body.  That nice guy sitting by me owes me a big “thank you”.)

This is my first time in Oklahoma.   I’ve heard about what a great state this is.  Naturally my first visit takes place dead in the middle of a huge snow storm.  NATURALLY!  That’s just how my luck runs.

Oh yeah, and in case I forgot to mention….I WORK OUTSIDE.  Naturally.

I was able to find my long johns that I used to wear when I lived in Utah.  They still fit.  And so I wore long johns today and was totally okay with that.  I also wore my one pair of “winter boots”, and The King’s fingerless gloves.  (He doesn’t know I took them.  I hope he doesn’t mind.)  My boots took up most of my suitcase, which means I had to get creative with packing options.  I didn’t pack my round brush.  I guess I’ll be rocking a ponytail all week.  I’ll just act like it was plan to not do my hair.  (I’m pretty sure my coworker won’t notice.  So you know, whatever.)

So yeah, homesick.  It hits me hard.  I talked to Babboo on the phone tonight and, without me even asking, he told me how sad he was that I wasn’t at home.  Dude, join the club. There is nowhere I’d rather be then at my house.  Be assured.  What’s interesting about me being so homesick is that I was never homesick until I got married.  As I youth I could leave home and not give it a second thought.  You’d think as I got older that it would only become easier, not harder.

Am I the only adult that gets homesick?  Is this weird?

It wouldn’t be so hard if this darn hotel bed wasn’t so big and wasn’t so empty.

While I do admit to spending time at a nudist resort, I swear I’m not an exhibitionist at all.  I would never go naked around someone I know.  I wouldn’t even change my clothes in front of my best friend.  But back in teenage years I found myself changing clothes in a room full of women all the time.

I don’t know who first told me about Fritzies.  It was as if I had always known it existed.  As if everyone had always known.

Fritzies was located in a giant warehouse a few towns away.  There weren’t any signs on the outside of the building.  So honestly, I’m not sure if Fritzies was even its actual name.  The inside of the warehouse was a mess.  Basically it was just racks and racks of clothes in no particular order.  When there wasn’t room for a rack, a huge cardboard box was filled with clothes.

It was amazing and disgusting, all at the same time.

I have no idea where these clothes came from or where they were going.  I just knew they were inexpensive.  It was like magic.  When you found something you liked on the rack, you have to look it over very carefully to make sure there weren’t any holes in it.  At the time I had no idea what that was about.  As an adult I know they were samples or seconds.  But back then, I just thought someone had been pissed and sliced the clothes.  (duh!)

You didn’t always find anything to buy at Fritzies.  Sometimes, after hours of searching, you had to accept that it was a bust.  But sometimes, sometimes, you hit pay dirt and found the most perfect item for less then $10.  Finding something I loved was a treat for me. Finding something that didn’t cost a lot of money was a treat for my mom!  (You know, since she was paying for my clothes back then.)

Here’s the thing about Fritzies; since it was technically just a warehouse, it didn’t have your typical changing rooms.  What it had was one big room where everyone would try on their clothes together.  TOGETHER.  This frightened me to the core.  Before a planned trip to Fritzies I would spend days and days stressing over having to change in front of people.  The odds were that it wouldn’t be anyone you knew.  But, naturally, there was the possibility of going in the dressing room and seeing the most popular girl from school, your Sunday school teacher, or even your English teacher.

Gulp.

Because of this I never went to Fritzies with girlfriends.  I took my mom.  And as I got older, I went alone.  I wasn’t dumb enough to bring someone with me that I’d have to change in front of.  Thinking back, when my mom did come I’d make her stand in front of me and be a sort of screen when I changed.

As I got a little older, and stopped growing, I didn’t have to try the clothes on as frequently.  I could usually just hold something up to me and tell if it fit or not.  Thankfully.

We went to Utah last weekend to visit my family.  The King and I had a little time to ourselves to go out.  We just happened to be driving through the town were Fritzies was located.  As we passed the street it was on I was reminded of Fritzies.  The warehouse looked empty.

I’m not sure where the locals find cheap clothes anymore.  (Probably Wal-Mart.)

While thinking about this post I knew I wanted to try to include a picture of me wearing something I got at Fritzies.  I could remember one (black velvet) dress I got there that I wore to a dance.  And I knew I wore a skirt from there on my way to my first wedding ceremony.

I knew I wasn’t going to find a picture from my wedding day.  But I was pretty sure I had a picture of the black dress.

(I bought this dress for $10.  My mom bought the white lace, which cost more then the dress, and sewed it on to the front of the dress and the sleeves.)

(Yes, I’m a senior in high school in this picture.  Yes, my date was 15!  He asked me.  I didn’t want to be rude and turn him down. So instead I dated a minor.)

(Plus, dude, check out his sweater!)

Then I found this next picture.  I KNOW I got this dress at Fritzies too.  (It had all this weird extra fabric on the back.  I wasn’t sure what it was for.  Mostly it just made me look like I had a bubble butt, which you can see in the picture.)

(This date is also younger then me.  Again, he asked me!)

(Again, check out that sweater!)

I about died when I found the next picture which is from my COLLEGE GRADUATION.  Dude, I got this dress at Fritzies too.  As well as the white shirt I wore under it.  (To be fair, it was adorable.  I wore it with white knee high socks and Doc Martin mary janes.)

(That boy isn’t younger then me, nor was he my boyfriend.  I mean, seriously, while I will date a boy with a horrible sweater, I draw the line at dating someone with suspenders.)

I didn’t realize I was still shopping at Frtizies in college.  E-gads, that’s embarrassing.

Recently The King’s parents began a huge remodel of their house. (His dad is retired and since he’s no longer helping build our house, he had to do SOMETHING.) Because of the remodel The King’s mom requested that he get his “junk” out of their house.

A few weeks before Christmas he packed up his “junk” and brought it to our house. His “junk” turned out to be his old toys. His plan was to take pictures of them and sell everything on ebay. He got his toys out of the boxes they’d been in for almost two decades and began to take inventory.

My Sweet Babboo was there helping. It didn’t take long for him to start playing around with the toys.

“What is this, Daddy?”

“It’s an X-Wing fighter.”

“Who is this?”

“She’s Princess Leia.”

“But what about this guy. He’s looks bad.”

“That’s Darth Vader and he is bad.”

“What are all these toys called?”

“Star Wars. And when I was little I loved them.”

“I think I love Star Works too.”

Needless to say, the toys never made it on ebay. Instead Babboo has been having a love affair with The King’s old toys, in which he continues to refer to as “Star Works”. I’m personally amazed at what great shape his old toys are in. He still has all their little guns and lightsabers. Princess Leia’s plastic cape is still attached and in perfect condition. Yoda robe is still on with the little string used to tie it. There is “fighter Luke”, “lightsaber Luke” and “winter coat Luke”, as well as a few different Han Solos. We put new batteries in all the space ship thingys and they even work.

The King is pretty sure he the Millennium Falcon and the Death Star are somewhere at his mom’s house too.

Thankfully Babboo’s pirates have happily accepted the new Star Works crew into the fold. In fact, I’ve seen a few pirates fighting with lightsabers.

Sure the toys have a little dust on them and they aren’t as shiny as new Star Wars toys. But there is nothing sweeter then watching The King sitting on the floor playing with his old toys with his son.

(The King also brought home all of his old Legos, which were still in their original boxes with their original directions. I can’t imagine that Young King was very much fun to play with.)

Through most of college I dated this guy named Wesley.  I wasn’t surprised when our relationship eventually ended.  I hadn’t expected it to last as long as it had.  Wesley, on the other hand, seemed very upset to see us break-up.  I could have given him a list of reason a mile long when he asked me what the reason for our split was.

(Top of the list: “Yeah, I never really liked you that much!”)

I didn’t really give him any reason.  I just told him the old stand-by: “We’ve grown apart.”

He didn’t buy it.  He told me he believed the reason was simple.  And all my fault.

You see, months before, he and I had been hanging out at the local ShopKo.  I was messing around with the umbrellas in the kids section and had opened one of them up to see the design.  To say he freaked out would be an understatement.

FREAKED OUT!!

He started going on about the bad luck I had just caused to both of our lives.

I admit I was a little confused.  While I had heard that opening an umbrella inside was considered bad luck, I had never really believed it.  I was surprised that Wesley seemed to be such a believer.

The entire drive back to his apartment was spent with him lecturing me what had just occurred.  Blah, blah, blah.

So when our relationship finally ended, he only had the umbrella to blame.  “Um yeah sure, that’s the reason I’m breaking up with you.  Because of BAD LUCK from opening an umbrella inside”

Whatever.

Today is Delurking Day here on the interweb.  To put it simply, it means that YOU HAVE TO COMMENT.

HAVE TO.

Because if you fail to delurk and make a comment, you will have bad luck.  And bad luck means we’ll break up.

And nobody wants us to break up.  So go ahead and delurk!

Remember how the only thing I asked for for Christmas was food storage?

The King hated this idea.  He didn’t think it was any “fun”. When I told my mother-in-law that I would like some type of food storage shelfing system for our garage, he quickly thwarted the idea.

“You can’t get food storage items for Christmas.  I’ll just build some shelves.”

I held firm.  (And honestly, I just couldn’t come up with any “fun” gift ideas for myself.)  (I eventually agreed with The King that a new messenger bag for work would be a good gift for me.)  (I got the messenger bag.  It’s green and I like it.)

The King held true to his word and began work on some shelves in our garage.  He also started buying cases of water when he went shopping.  (He also bought a few other canned goods.)

My younger sister drew my name for Christmas.  When she asked what I wanted I simple said, “FOOD STORAGE!”  It was that simple.  When my mom asked me, I told her the same thing.  (She ended up buying us all plane tickets to visit them in Utah next week.  I was happy to receive that gift.)

Christmas morning I was pretty sure I wouldn’t be opening any type of food storage items from The King, Babboo or my in-laws.  Thankfully, I knew my sister would come though.

And come through she did.

Included in the Starter Kit:

• Two #10 cans of red winter wheat (I’m not sure what that is or what I’m supposed to do with it.)
• Two #10 cans of white rice
• One #10 can of pinto beans
• One #10 can of quick oats

Even though The King told her not to, my sweet mother-in-law did get me something related to food storage.  The King even put the little shelf together and installed it above our refrigerator.  While it isn’t as full as it can be, it’s a start.  (The King continues to buy extra cans of food every time he shops.)

So now the garage has selves, our kitchen has shelves and our basement spare bedroom even has some shelves.

But, for some reason, the spare bedroom seems to only be holding the cleaning supplies and diapers we’re hoarding.  (gDiapers keeps sending us awesome coupons to use.  Unfortunately they all expired at the end of 2009.  Meaning that although we didn’t have any need for diapers, we stocked up so we could use the coupons.)

I admit my food storage supply isn’t as awesome as it could be.  But I am happy that we’re making improvements and working towards the goal of having our food storage.

So tell me, what Christmas gift got you excited?

1. What did you do in 2009 that you’d never done before?

I stared traveling for work. The King had been the one doing all the business travel before. And honestly, I’d rather him do it. Dude, it sucks to be away from home. The thought of more trips (and there will be more) make me nervous and nauseous.

2. Did you keep your new year’s resolutions, and will you make more for next year?

I never make resolutions. I think because I hate knowing that I failed at something. I’m not very good at setting goals. At least not at actually writing down goals I may have.

My in-laws did gift me their old treadmill. My (non written down) hope is to use it a lot.

3. Did anyone close to you give birth?

No family members that physically lives close to me had any babies. But my cousin and his wife had a baby, and even after meeting her over Christmas, I’m still shaken up at how old it makes me feel. (They live far away, BTW.)

I did have two close friends (who were prego at the same time I was). I hosted baby showers for both of them.

4. Did anyone close to you die?

The baby I was carrying died back in March. While I’m not sure if that counts, I’m going to include it here.

5. What countries did you visit?

We went to Vancouver, Canada. A lot. Maybe too much. (While I love Canada so very much, I’d be okay to not go back there until summer 2010.) (I would make an exception if someone wants to give me free room and tickets for the Olympics!) (Go team USA!)

6. What would you like to have in 2010 that you lacked in 2009?

My sanity. Actually, that’s not totally true. I had my sanity for most of 2009. I would like to regain it and end 2010 with even more sanity.

I would also like to have a take-home- baby.

7. What dates from 2009 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?

March 2nd. Day of dead baby.

8. What was your biggest achievement of the year?

The girls at church that I teach (12-14 year olds) and myself all decided to start daily scripture reading. We all chose a time to set aside each day for this. I chose to read the Book of Mormon while blow drying my hair in the mornings.

For the first time in my life I can say that I’m a daily scripture reader.

This small window of scripture reading time doesn’t really allow for a lot of reading. But I figure some reading is better then none. Plus, I’m still learning a lot and feeling the blessings daily.

9. What was your biggest failure?

I failed to have our baby. Even though the doctors tell me it wasn’t my fault, it still feels personal.

10. Did you suffer illness or injury?

See #4, #6, #7 and #9

11. What was the best thing you bought?

Any money I spent at iTunes is a good thing.

12. Whose behavior merited celebration?

I was so pleased when Babboo mastered staying dry through the night. And the day he showed me he could write his name all by himself was one of the best parenting days I had ever had.

13. Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed?

I want to say how upset the (now ex)husband of one of my best friends made me. But this wasn’t necessarily in 2009. Although it was so bad that I can’t seem to stop thinking about how horrible it was and how duped even I was by him.

14. Where did most of your money go?

Since we didn’t take any “major” vacations this year, I have to say most of our money went to our house. And not just for our mortgage. We put a lot of money (and time) into our back deck. And our front yard. And real live furniture!

15. What did you get really excited about?

FAKE MUSTACHES! (Don’t act like they don’t make you smile. I KNOW THEY DO!)

I was also very happy to find a medication to help with the blood disorder I’ve suffered from my entire life. I was overwhelmed with joy at being able to feel like a normal person for the first time in my life.

16. What song will always remind you of 2009?

“Oh No” by Andrew Bird. Andrew Bird really helped me through the better part of 2009! (Too bad he’ll never know how much his music helped me. I wish I could make him a card and mail it to him to say “Thanks”!)

17. Compared to this time last year, are you:

– happier or sadder? I am the exact same as I was at this exact time last year.
– thinner or fatter? I’m the exact same weight as I was at this exact time last year. But I”m much fatter then I was during most of 2009. Thanks to a raging eating disorder.
– richer or poorer? Even with The King getting aid off back in July, we have the exact same amount of money as we did this exact time last year.

18. What do you wish you’d done more of?

Geocaching. And maybe more guilt free “ME” time.

19. What do you wish you’d done less of?

For the last while I’ve really disliked certain aspects of my job. The actual project and tasks are fine. It’s just all the other garbage. And because of all this garbage I complain a lot. And fret a lot. And think about it a lot. And talk to The King about it a lot.

I wish I could just wash my hands of thinking about work outside of work.

20. How did you spend Christmas?

We spent Christmas like we always do, at our own house with our own little family. This year Babboo actually “got” what was going on.

(I got a new coat and camera from The King. Totally unexpected and appreciated!)

21. Did you fall in love in 2009?

While I’ll be the first to admit that marriage is hard and I struggle with it probably more then most people, I love my guys.

22. What was your favorite TV program?

“How I Met Your Mother” is a family favorite at our house. The King recently found “The Big Bang Theory” and if it weren’t for the horrible theme song, it might become the #1.

(I was super into “Dexter” this season. Unfortunately it scared the living piss out of me and made it so I couldn’t walk to work without looking behind my back for a bad guy. I gave up watching it with only TWO EPISODES left. I had to. HAD TO.)

(Seriously, I even prayed about this one. “Dexter” is hott. But he’s one scary dude.)

23. Do you hate anyone now that you didn’t hate this time last year?

Dude, hate is a very strong word and I don’t like to use it.

24. What was the best book you read?

There is no possible way to give an accurate answer to this one. I simply can’t remember all the books I’ve read.

I finished reading “The Drifters” again last week. This book has been my NUMBER ONE book since I was a teenager. Reading this book will always bring joy into my life. For reals.

I read Amy Tan’s “The Kitchen Gods Wife” and was blown away by it. I wasn’t expecting such a wonder book full of such a rich history.

25. What was your greatest musical discovery?

There was so many. How about bullets?

• Andrew Bird
• Tilly & The Wall
• The Decemberist
• Glee
• Mates of State (I had some of their stuff before, but now I’m obsessed)
• Rhett Miller (he had a new solo album this year. Plus, HE’S FOLLOWING ME ON TWITTER!)
• Any song my BFF May sends me. (She sent me THE BEST MIX CD ever for Christmas.)

26. What did you want and get?

I wanted to feel better. And, thanks to meds, I finally did.

27. What did you want and not get?

See #4, #6, #7, #9 and #10

28. What was your favorite film of this year?

I have a toddler and a full time job which means I don’t get out to the movies that often. That being said, The King and I did see “(500) Day of Summer” and we both really enjoyed it.

29. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?

Against my will, I turned 34 this year. (I know, I’m surprised I’m that old too!) I spent my birthday by flying to Utah to spend the weekend with my family without Babboo or The King.

Funny story; my family was so excited about seeing me that they all forgot that it was my birthday. Therefore there was NO MENTION of it being my actual birthday and NO GIFTS. I wasn’t upset or anything, but it was funny. (Good thing “Sixteen Candles” is my favorite movie of all time.)

Rhett Miller sent me MY VERY OWN TWEET for my birthday.

30. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?

When I hear the word “satisfying” I think of a nice cold glass of Sprite. I had a Sprite over the holidays, so I guess I’m satisfied.

31. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2009?

BLUNT BANG BRIGADE! (That’s me at the bottom of the page!)

32. What kept you sane?

My Sweet Babboo (and reading and music).

33. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?

Rhett Miller! (Yes, clearly photoshopped.) (He and I together is the photoshopped part. I am that pretty in real life.) (tee-hee!)

34. What political issue stirred you the most?

Prop 8 (and probably not for the reasons you think it did).

35. Who did you miss?

May. Always and forever. (Until she moves back to Seattle.)

36. Who was the best new person you met?

The King and I made some new non-Mormon friends. That’s been very informative for all of us. Hey, who knew that Catholics were so much fun?!

(That last part was a joke. If us Mormons can be so cool, then of course there must be some cool Catholics out there too!)

37. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2009.

While I didn’t actually “learn” it. I KNOW it. I just need to figure out how to DO IT.

Leave work at the office.

38. Quote a song lyric that sums up your year.

God is bigger than the boogie man.
He’s bigger than Godzilla,
or the monsters on TV. (DEXTER!!)
Oh, God is bigger than the boogie man.
And He’s watching out for you and me.

(Yes, the music snob in me let me choose a Veggie Tale song. This is who I’ve become!)