I’m back from Louisiana. Dude, how do people live in that heat? I guess my problem was that I was working OUTSIDE IN THE HEAT. Yep, totally outside. Not fun.

I got in last night and am back at my office desk today. Sunday I leave (again) to go to Utah to visit my family. So yeah, I have today to get all my work done from this week and for next week.

FYI, not going to happen.

Instead of continuing talk about all the heat in Louisiana, I wanted to show you what I got for The King for Fathers Day. I may or may not have deemed this The Best Gift Ever.

For reals.

Check it out, it a watercolor painting that I had commissioned of my little family (including our lovely kitty). Of course this is not the original size. The thing is huge. I had it matted and framed and it will look lovely hanging over our kitchen table. We’re even wearing clothes that we really own.

The best part about this original painting in that is was super duper inexpensive. Seriously. (I paid for more the frame then I did for the original artwork!)

And since it was so inexpensive and so freakin’ awesome, I decided to have one done for my own dad for Fathers Day.

Yep, that’s my mom and dad doing what they love best; riding their 4-wheelers.

Of course my mom and dad are over the moon about their painting. And my mind is reeling with who else I can get a painting done for.

Who is the artist that painted these masterpieces? Her name is Jackie Aaron and I don’t know her from Adam. But dude, she’s good. And inexpensive. And QUICK. (It took less then a week to get my completed paintings.)

All I did was e-mail Jackie Aaron a few pictures of the subjects, tell her what type of background I wanted, and she was off and painting. (That’s even a precise duplication of my dad’s newest 4-wheeler, which he totally noticed!)

I’m totally recommending Jackie Aaron Impressions. And I swear, she isn’t a friend. (Okay, I heard of her through a friend, but yeah, I don’t know Jackie.)

Check out Jackie Aaron’s website for more details on her pricing (seriously, such an amazing price for an original painting!) and how to contact her. And think about all the paintings you could get have done.

(Would the interweb totally judge me if I commissioned Jackie to paint this picture of Rhett Miller and me?)

Things I have learned this week on my first business trip to Baton Rouge, Louisiana:

• HOLY CRAP, IT’S HOT IN THE SOUTH.
• I like to eat alligators.
• My coworkers like to drink a lot and go to casinos while on the road.  (I had no idea.)
• My coworkers are pretty cool when they drink.
• (I haven’t gone to a casino with them.  Odds are looking pretty good that I won’t.)
• SERIOUSLY, SO HOT.
• Especially when you are working outside, LIKE WE ARE.
• Dark denim is not very breathable.
• I had to stop and go buy more sunscreen at the dollar store on my lunch.
• My coworkers have no patience for PaperPocketEdward.
• Having your boss surprise you by being down by the pool and seeing you in your bikini makes for a very uncomfortable afternoon.
• (I hope he didn’t see my boobies.  I would die.)
• I like fancy hotel rooms.
• I don’t like sleeping without my boys.
• I’ve only been here since Monday night and I’ve already read TWO BOOKS.  Here’s hoping I can sleep better tonight.
• Alligator is surprisingly tasty.
• I talk too much when I’m around my coworkers.
• I totally miss my guys and can’t wait to snuggle them.

Are you guys following me on Twitter?  I’m totally keeping you updated on my first trip to the South.  It’s all very exciting.  (Yawn.)

Next Monday night will mark the first time I’ve ever slept alone in a hotel room.  Part of me is excited. The other part of me is nervous about spending the week with my four (male) coworkers on a business trip.

But dude, I’m going to Louisiana.  I’ve never been to Louisiana.  Heck, I’ve never been to the South.  I plan on drinking sweet (herbal) tea, looking for alligators, talking with an accent, and visiting the Louisiana state capitol.  I also plan on watching whatever the heck I want on the hotel TV and spending as little time with my four (male) coworkers as possible.

(Although I was informed that eating dinner together each evening is mandatory.)

(Eating dinner with them every ding night is the last thing I want to do with my time in Baton Rouge.)

Speaking of my time in Baton Rouge next week brings me to the whole point of this blog…..

What do I need to know for visiting the South for the first time in my entire life?  What foods do I have to eat?  What are the Must See Things in Baton Rouge?  Seriously, I’m looking for every suggestion you guys have to offer.  In fact, I’m desperate for your suggestions.

Beings as its summer time, we’re ignoring the things that still need to be finished inside the new house and solely working outside on our yard. Since our house is new, that means we’re starting from scratch with the yard. Scratch, as in BIG PILES OF DIRT & WEEDS.

Dude, I hate weeds.

The King had a very specific vision of the front yard. Thanks to his hard work and said vision, our front yard is now 100% complete. This included the railing he forged from metal. (Does “forged” mean he welded it? If so, then yes, he forged the railing.)

Anyway, the front yard is done. And it looks lovely. I can say this because I had nothing to do with it. I had no vision. I planted no plants. All that I’ve done is stain the fence and do some weeding. Oh, I mowed the grass once last week. (It took less then 3 minutes, since you know; we have the smallest lawn ever.)

Now that the front yard is done, we’ve moved onto working in the back yard. (Again, by “we” I mean “The King”.) Our back yard is basically a very large hill of dirt and debris. We’re totally starting from scratch. Thankfully The King built a deck for us as soon as we moved in last summer. Beyond the deck, DIRT. And lots of it. The King has a very awesome vision for this pile of dirt. In involves more levels of deck, a few out houses (not potty outhouses, BTW), plants and another level of deck. Two weekends ago we rented a backhoe and The King prepared the pile of dirt for the next level of decking. Last Saturday his plan was to do the intricate digging with a shovel.

(One more reason I’m glad I’m not The King. There is no way I could shovel for nine hours out in the sun. NO WAY.)

Thankfully our good friend was nice enough to come over and dig with The King for those nine hours. (Seriously, NINE HOURS. There isn’t much I’d do for nine hours. And that includes something I like.)

What I’m getting at, slowly but surely, is that while they were digging for nice hours last Saturday, I worked on staining our patio furniture and staining the deck. But, since I’m an idiot, I started on the furniture first. By the time I was half-way done with the deck, I ran out of the special green stain that can only be purchased from a special store that specializes in green products.

And that is how we ended up with newly stained and very lovely patio furniture and a half a@@ed paint job on the deck.

Even the damn birds were upset at my staining skillz. They showed their disdain by shatting all over my newly (half) stained deck.

Not just in one place, but in two separate places. We’ve lived here a year and they wait until the deck is stained to use it as their own personal toilet.

Jerks.

(I just realized that maybe the birds are mad at us for taking down our bird feeder. Hey we had to take it down to do the digging in the yard.  You hear me birds, WE HAD TO take it down.)

Very often I do things that I’m so ashamed about I would never do them in front of someone I know. You know, like pick my nose. Or pull my wedgie out of my butt. Or admit that it’s been three days since I washed my hair. Or that the shirt I’m wearing today was bought second hand and the pants were hand-me-downs.

You know, typical stuff. (I think these things are “typical”. Maybe not.)

(Seriously, today’s outfit, including jewelry and shoes, cost me about $15.00)

So what I’m saying is there are things that are better left un-said about myself. I try to act cool and NOT let others know what a dork I am….

But only in real life.

For some unknown reason I have no problem admitting TO THE ENTIRE INTERWEB that I’m a complete moron.

Behold:

My diffuser is held on to my blow dryer by painters TAPE.

You see, shortly after I bought my new blow dryer, LAST YEAR, I dropped the diffuser part and it broke off the little pieces that attach the diffuser to the actual blow dryer.

A non-moronic person would simply buy a new diffuser.

I’m not a non-moron. I am a full-moron.

And so I simply used some tape to attach my diffuser to my blow dryer. It has been a year and I’m almost running out of the special painters blue tape.  This means I can’t waffle too much between straight and curly hair. The diffuser must either stay on or off.

So tell me, please, that you have something similar in your life.  Please.

I take my music listening very seriously. That doesn’t mean I’m a music snob. It just means….I take my music listening very seriously. I spend no less then eight hours a day with ear bugs stuck in my ears.

Oh yes, muy seriously.

Thanks to my recent birthday I recently came into a windfall of iTunes gift cards. (Note to Universe: PERFECT GIFT!) Upon receiving these gift cards my first thought was:

RHETT MILLER’S NEW SOLO ALBUM!!!

Oh yes, Rhett Miller has a self-titled solo album that drops comes out June 9^th. (That’s next Tuesday.) But then I remembered that I had already pre-ordered a copy of “Rhett Miller”. (Pre-ordering got me a FREE autograph with my copy.) (It’s in the mail.)

I spent this week looking for The Perfect Summer Songs. I took suggestions. I reviewed my current iPod collection and as of this morning, I have compiled a new playlist:

I call this playlist “Summer Tunes”. (And you can see it HERE.)

I’ve covered all the bases. I made sure to include the two available songs from “Glee” (love!) as well as a Joey Lawrence song, a Justin Timberlake song, a New Kids on the Block song and a song that mentions New Kids on the Block.

I dare anyone to listen to any of the songs on this playlist and not automatically feel happier and more boppy. Seriously, it’s guaranteed to make anyone feel happy. (It’s been tested over the last few hours and it appears to be working!)

I admit this playlist is not completed. Oh no. I’m still up for suggestion as my iTunes gift cards STILL HAVE MONEY ON THEM. Please feel free to make any Perfect Summer Song suggestions to me.

Also, Monday is my mom’s birthday. What do you give the woman who has everything? You commission this:

After seeing my mom snuggled up to Mr. Edward Cullen, my sister commissioned her own copy:

My mom’s copy will be delivered on her birthday in a shiny new frame. Along with a sheet of wallet sized pictures she can hand out to her friends.

I’m not kidding.

So yeah, what do you think is The Perfect Summer Song?

(Just wait until I post a picture of what I got The King for Father’s Day. JUST WAIT!)