• using self tanners (”it messes up my hands”)
• how they vote on American Idol (”the girls were on last night”)
• Gossip Girl (”its easy to love to hate it”) (”you can’t DVR it or you won’t be able to talk to your friends about it on Tuesday!”)
• not being into Chantel anymore (an ex-girlfriend?) (”She’s so last month.”)
• shaving their balls (”i just take my razor in the shower and do it at the gym.  it’s saves time.”)

Although I was a mere 2 inches in front of them, they must have thought I was far enough away and wouldn’t hear them.

IT WAS NOT FAR ENOUGH AWAY.  And I did hear them.

I had no idea that hott guys talked this way.   To be honest, I’m a little disappointed.

Yep, that’s how my family hiked; we went on the same hikes that people in wheelchairs could manage.

(I’m embarrassed to even share this with the interweb.)

(And yet, I’m about to share more.)

After I graduated from high school and moved away to college I never returned to Zion or went on any hikes, handicap accessible or not.  I married my first husband shortly there after.  When I married him I knew I was marrying into a family that enjoyed spending time in the outdoors.  (And by “spending time in the outdoors” I mean “spending time hiding behind trees and bushes killing defenseless animals.)  (Let’s try to not turn this into a discussion on hunting.  I’m just saying that the ex’s family was not like my family in that regard.)

While my first husband wasn’t a hunter, he did like to fish and hike.  He went fishing almost daily….sans me.  He rode his mountain bike and hiked with his friends occasionally.  Again, sans me.  here towards the end of our marriage I remember going on one hike with him.  I can totally see the picture he took of me during that hike.  I did not look like I was having fun.  Maybe it was him, maybe it was the hike, I can’t be certain.

That last hike had to have occurred somewhere around 1998.  That’s about 12 years ago.

When I married The King I knew that while he liked the outdoors, he wasn’t planning any hikes up Mt. Rainier in his future.  Fine by me.

This summer something odd happened.  The King decided he wanted to go camping as a family…in a tent…out in the open.    And oddly enough I thought it sounded like a good idea.  On this first camping trip (to Mt. Rainer, strangely enough) the family’s we were camping with wanted to go on a hike at Mt. Rainier.  Dude, I did not want to be the one person that was all “dude, you want me to walk up a mountain, while I could be back at our camp site eating s’mores, FOR NO GOOD REASON?!”  So I went along and acted like hiking was no big deal to me.

Whatever, it was a big deal.  First off, it was hot out.  Secondly, THERE WERE SHEER CLIFFS.  Thirdly, dude, the trail was long and straight up.  I was tired and sleepy and just feeling a general sense of laziness all around.

While I enjoyed spending time with friends, I was pretty sure it was going to be my last hike. At least for another 12 years.

The thing is, The King loved the hike.  My Sweet Babboo loved the hike.  LOVED IT.

Thankfully, right about that time, I found some new meds that started to work.   Gone was The Tired.  We were also introduced to Geocaching.  And made some new friends in our church congregation that loved to hike.

Put this all together and what do you get?

A family of hikers, that’s what.

We started to stalk the returns section at REI (referred to as “the basement”).  We found The King some fancy new (slightly used) hiking boots.  We found Babboo some new (slightly used) hiking shoes.  And then we found me some new (slightly used) hiking boots.  We were now officially “people who hike”.

Since the house is pretty much done, our Saturdays have become more open.  Lately, we’ve been using our Saturday’s to go on hikes with different friends, my in-laws, and even some with just the 3 of us.  We’ve hiked in other states and other countries.

I’ve even gone hiking on business trips.

While it’s highly unusual for me to be hiking so much, it’s even more highly unusual that I’m enjoying our hikes.  I even commented to The King on a recent hike “I sure do like hiking!”

He about had a heart attack hearing those words come out of my mouth.  And frankly so did I.

After talking to my dad last week about a recent hike we’d taken, he said “I didn’t know you guys were so into hiking.  Next time you’re in Utah for a visit we should go on a hike.”  I had to laugh (on the inside).  The thought of my parents going on a hike IN THE MOUNTAINS was comical.  The only thing they do in the mountains is ride their huge 4-wheelers around.

Yesterday My Best Friend Who Deserted Me And  Moved To Reno (aka: May) sent me an e-mail where she said something to the effect of “don’t be offended, but it’s hard for me to picture you taking a hike.  Do you do it dressed in all black and wearing heels?”

She knows me very well.

But she knows an older version of me.  She knows the person who was ruled by The Tired.  I totally understand what May was saying to me and it made me feel good to know that I had been able to change. And for the better, I hope.

I tried to count the number of hikes we’ve taken since that first hike on Mt. Rainier this summer, and I can’t.  There are too many to remember.

And I like that.

(Oh yeah, The King plans on hiking to the top of Mt. Rainier this summer.  I don’t plan on going with him!)

(Yes, these are just some of the pictures from different hikes we’ve taken. All since last summer.)

In the mean time he’s been able to pick up some work as a freelance english teacher at his old school’s rivals. He’s also made some money helping friends with their remodel jobs.

At the start of this year The King landed a very sweet freelance job. It was for 3 months, but could pretty much go for as long as he wanted.

Just because he had a teaching job, he kept looking for a more permanent job.

Earlier this week The King was offered a permanent job. A really good permanent job. He’ll be making a little more money then before, but the benefits totally blow any other job out of the water.

The thing is, this new job isn’t working as an english teacher at a school. This new job is working at a huge hospital working as an english teacher in their little teaching department.

(Now remember, he’s not really a teacher and his new job isn’t really at a hospital.)

What I’m saying is that while The King will essentially been doing what he’s be trained at and what he rocks at doing, he’ll be doing it in a completely different setting. When he worked at the schools he could pretty much do whatever he wanted. That industry was very laid back. Most of his coworkers had pink or blue hair and wore very non-traditional clothing and led non-traditional lives. They could (and did) drink, company provided alcohol, on the job. (Clearly The King, being a nice Mormon boy, stood out. But they all still loved him and he loved them too.)

The new job at the hospital isn’t like this. At all. They aren’t laid back.

He got his official offer letter in the mail yesterday which outlined the hospital’s dress code:

• slacks
• collard shirts
• NO TENNIS SHOES EVER. AND THEY MEAN IT.
• jeans are allowed every other week. Sometimes.

Um yeah, he’s pretty sure nobody at the hospital has pink hair and the girls probably don’t wear mini skirts.

He officially starts at the hospital next week.  So we’re going to have to do some serious clothes shopping this weekend. And while The King doesn’t want to have to dress like a “douche” (his words, not mine), he wants this new job.

I think he’ll look nice.  I’ve always told him that he cleans up nice.

And in other, non-The-King-related news;

Today may very well be the first day in over 10 years that I’m not wearing a single item of black clothing.  Including my shoes.

Maybe the world is ending.

There she is, just standing there posing for a picture with her huge helmet on. Like she’s saying “why bother taking this totally uncomfortable helmet off for a little lunch break?”

Why bother? Because it’s hideous. But it’s also hilarious.

The best part is that most pictures of my mom look similar to this. She’s always wearing a puffy coat that’s 3 sizes too big for her and a helmet that’s made for professional motor cross guys and not some mom from Utah.

(You’ll note that in this picture my younger brother took the time to remove his helmet. But not his goggles? Yeah, I don’t get it.)

My parents spend most weekends riding their 4-wheelers on the back trails of Utah. They love it and I think that’s great. (I grew up around 3-wheelers, but now they only ride 4-wheelers since they’re much safer.) (But not safe enough that Babboo is allowed near one.)

Looking at these other pictures I’m thinking that it might not just be her huge helmet and over sized coat, it may also be her post; standing, arms at side, no emotions.

This year for Christmas The King surprised me with a brand new coat.  It’s black and fitted and cozy and I love it.

I was surprised he got it for me since I didn’t need a new coat. I had a perfectly good coat that I got for free. You see, my BFF May (who deserted me and moved to Reno) is married to a guy that used to work in the fashion industry and therefore got a lot of clothing samples. Mr. May had been nice enough to get me a lovely, albeit super large, purple puffy coat. Sure, I hate purple. Sure, it’s too big. But it was warm and best of all it was free. *

When I asked The King why he bought me this slick new black coat when I had a coat already, he said:

“You were one helmet away from looking like your mom.”

I knew what he meant and I was thankful he had my back. I hadn’t even realized it until it was pointed out to me. And I was glad it had been pointed out.

Because that’s what marriage is all about; making sure your spouse doesn’t turn into their parent.

*May and Mr. May are celebrating their 10th wedding anniversary today. Congrats to the both of them!

I tried to get involved with the 2002 Olympics as best I could.  The King bought me the sweetest Olympic sweat suit.  I wore the hoodie just about everywhere that winter.  My mom also sent me as many Olympic pins as she could get her hands on.  Before 2002 I didn’t even know there was such a thing as Olympic pins or that people collected them like crazy.

My mom even sent me the coveted green Jell-o pin.

(If the green Jell-o one baffles you, then you must not be a Mormon.)

(That just sounds more confusing.  Let’s just say that there are a lot of jokes that involve Mormons and green Jell-O, or something like that.)

Not only do I have the green Jell-O pin, but I also have the Mormon missionaries pin.

I loved the Roots berets, but I would have never had the balls to wear one.  I just coveted from afar.

(Looking at the beret now, I’m very glad I never got one!  That is a look that would not have withstood the test of time.)

While my pins and hoodie are awesome, they don’t take the place of actually being at the Olympics.

Welcome to 2010, where the winter Olympics are taking place a mere three hours from my house in a city we l-o-v-e and visit oft.  And here I am, again, not attending.

(That’s me in front of the 2010 official Olympic countdown way back in 2008.)

I was nice enough to buy my mom an Olympic pin in Vancouver and send it to her for Christmas this last year.  But no hoodie or pin for myself.

Honestly, we didn’t try too hard to get to the Olympics this year.  We heard that hotels we usually get on priceline.com for $60 were going for $3000.  A NIGHT.  Yeah, The King family can not afford that.

I can’t even imagine what the border crossing is going to be like.  I’ve sat there for 7 hours before when it wasn’t the Olympics.  Geez, it’s got to be bad now.

(I just checked the Peace Arch border wait times online and it said there wasn’t a wait time.  YEAH, RIGHT.)

Our excitement for the Vancouver Olympics was shared by some friends of ours.  Let’s call them the JJ’s.  So the JJ’s are awesome, awesome people.  Mr. JJ is the happiest, nicest, genuine person I’ve ever met.  Unlike us he was a little more proactive in getting to the Olympics.  He told us he planned on just getting to Vancouver and then he’d figure it out once he got there.  He WAS going to the Olympics.  He was adamant.  Thankfully he wasn’t going to pull his wife and 3 kids into his madness.  He’d leave them at home so they wouldn’t have to sleep in the car.  Or in the park.

The King and I just rolled our eyes anytime Mr. JJ talked about going to the Olympics.  We couldn’t believe he wasn’t putting some thought into his plan.  He was just about The Action.  That’s how Mr. JJ rolls and it usually works out just fine for him.  (I think it’s karma for how great of a person he is.)

We weren’t that surprised when Mr. JJ told us that he was given tickets to some of the Olympic events as well as a FREE HOTEL ROOM for him and his family.

Seriously.  I guess his brother in New Mexico knows a guy who knows a guy who had some tickets/hotel rooms he wanted to just GIVE AWAY.  While I can’t think of a better recipient it’s still quite amazing that someone would do this.

I got a text this morning from the JJ’s. They were just crossing the border into Canada and wishing we were there with them.  Dude, me too.

This whole thing made me realize that the JJ’s had been right along.  You just had to believe you were going and it would just happen.

That’s what I get for being so cynical.

And for not knowing the right people.

So tell me, did any of you actually buy one of those 2002 Olympic berets and wear it?